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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29679381">Navigation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lellium/pseuds/lellium'>lellium</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>a lifelong love letter [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Dialogue borrowed from game, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mutual Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sharing a Bed, Strangers to Lovers, and there was only one bed, implied sex work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:53:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>37,863</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29679381</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lellium/pseuds/lellium</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen needs a date to ward off Orlesian nobles at the peace talks at the Winter Palace. Enter Eira Trevelyan, escort extraordinaire. What begins as a purely professional arrangement quickly develops into mutual attraction. Will they overcome propriety and confess their feelings for one another?</p><p>This fic is finished, and a new chapter will be uploaded once a week!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cullen Rutherford/Female Trevelyan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>a lifelong love letter [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2184234</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This work has been sensitivity read by Lauren Grant for my depictions of Vivienne and my original character of color. Any remaining issues are entirely on me. </p><p>Navigation would not be possible without the support of my Blanket Fort friends, and Cauldy. 💚</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Light streamed through cracks in the blinds, strong afternoon sunlight highlighting tousled brown hair where it peeked from underneath disheveled sheets. The lump beneath the covers shifted with a soft noise, and a hand reached out to grope along the bed's surface, seeking. Eira struggled out of the sheets into a sitting position and hunched over her phone. Practiced fingers tapped out her passcode and she flicked through her notifications with a yawn. Her cat interrupted her scrolling by jumping on to the bed and headbutting her hand holding the phone, nearly knocking it out of her fingers.</p><p>"Hey baby boy, is it time for your lunch?" she cooed, giving the orange tabby a gentle scratch on his cheek. She eased out of the bed and slipped her phone into the pocket of her pajama pants.</p><p>On her way out of the bedroom she stopped to tidy up clothing left strewn on the floor from her early morning return, while her cat protested this delay loudly. "I know, I know," she soothed, stepping carefully while he tried to herd her towards the kitchen of her apartment.</p><p>She hummed quietly to herself as she fed her cat his wet food and started hot water for tea in an electric kettle, the tune a counterpoint to the muffled sounds of Val Royeaux traffic beyond the walls. Leaning back against the counter, she withdrew her phone and resumed her tapping and scrolling. With the ease of long routine, she prepared her tea and carried it to her couch, eyes barely leaving the screen. Her hum turned to one of contentment as she took her first sip.</p><p>Fortified with caffeine, she opened the Blooming Rose app and checked for any employee notices since last night, then swiped to new client postings. The usual headlines filled her screen, mostly one time escort requests with varying physical preferences and interests in activities. She almost scrolled past a new post before her eyebrows rose a fraction; a week-long assignment as a platonic escort only. Opening it up, she quickly skimmed for pertinent details. The client needed a date for a formal function that would last a week. Travel required, must stay at the location for the entire week. All expenses covered. Must sign a non-disclosure agreement — that was odd. She stopped at the bottom, and her brows nearly climbed to her hairline. The compensation was <em>far</em> more than she usually made, even allowing for the increased time spent.</p><p>With that kind of money, she could finally invest in her side business, build it up and pull away from using the Rose as her primary source of income. She was able to cover her modest bills and carefully save a little money every month, but this would be a huge boost. To distance herself from the possible dangers of her profession... She wouldn't be young forever, and couldn't stay in this business for too long.</p><p>This had to be too good to be true.</p><p>Her cat joined her on the couch, pressing up alongside her thigh as she checked the user who submitted the posting. As usual for the Rose, it had little identifying information, and had only been created a week before. The name was suitably generic. She absently stroked her cat's soft fur, setting her phone down on the couch while she sipped her tea thoughtfully. Someone would take this assignment quickly. But what were the risks, beyond the usual? It was flagged as a non-sexual escort, so she would likely just be a decorative arm piece. She would have to get details about the formal dress requirements and find someone to pet-sit for her for a week. The rest was trivial.</p><p>She set the mug back on the coffee table with a decisive clunk and tapped <em>accept</em> on the app. Her thumbs quickly swiped over the screen as she fired off an introductory message to the client.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Mercy: Hi there! I'd love to chat about the details of our assignment together. Looking forward to meeting you!</p>
</blockquote><p>A thrum of excitement ran up her spine, and she curled down to lavish affection on her cat. "Sol, I'm going to have to leave you for a week," she said between kisses to his adorable head. "It will be worth it, I promise!"</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The next notification from the Blooming Rose app didn't pop up on her phone until the evening, the suggestive rose icon bearing a tiny badge with one new message indicator. Eira set aside her work, scooping up her phone with enthusiasm.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>CSR: Hello. I apologize for being abrupt, but you must sign the non-disclosure agreement before we discuss details. Can I ask to meet first?</p>
</blockquote><p>Her lips curled down in a soft frown, then eased as she shrugged to herself.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Mercy: Sure thing! When is the event?</p>
</blockquote><p>She waited, but no typing indicator appeared. <em>Must not be tied to their phone, then.</em> Picking up her notebook, she resumed taking notes. She hadn't taken an assignment tonight and was enjoying the time spent low key working at home. Chill beats flowed from tiny speakers, filling her small apartment with ambient music. Solium napped on the other end of the couch, and a habitual mug of tea sat cooling on the table. She lost track of time until a soft buzz pulled her out of her focus.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>CSR: Next month, it starts four weeks from Friday. Are you free tomorrow night?</p>
  <p>Mercy: For you, of course I'm free! Dinner?</p>
</blockquote><p>The delay was long enough that she almost set her phone down again, then the message box showed typing.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>CSR: Estrellón at 8 pm? Ask for CSR.</p>
  <p>Mercy: I'll see you then!</p>
</blockquote><p>Usually, she'd have peppered in more flirting, but she was mindful of the nature of the request. Maybe they weren't comfortable; it wouldn't be good to come on too strong and scare the client off.</p><p>She drummed her nails against the back of the phone case. The restaurant the client had chosen was Antivan, unpretentiously upscale yet cozy. Grateful that she didn't have to push back and insist on meeting in a public space for the first time, she stretched and considered. One reason she worked through the Blooming Rose was the ability for her to back out of an assignment if she became uncomfortable and also report the client if anything untoward happened. She hadn't missed how the enigmatic client had given no more specifics about themselves.</p><p>
  <em>What to wear...</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Eira stepped out of her ride share with a warm thank you to the driver, smoothing a hand down her skirt covered hip as she paused on the sidewalk outside of the restaurant. Perfectly on time, her heels clicked across the entry. She surreptitiously scanned the restaurant as the host checked the ledger, noting the exit to the kitchen and then looking for any visible solo diners. There had been no clue as to the gender of her client — not that she particularly cared.</p><p>A server led her to a private table where a man quickly stood up when it became clear they were headed straight for him. A tall man, with carefully styled blond hair, his hands twitching ever so slightly at his sides as if he couldn't decide what to do.</p><p>Covering for his confusion, she extended a fair hand and gave him a winning smile. "CSR, I take it?"</p><p>Relieved, he took her hand in a firm grip. "Yes, I'm Cullen Rutherford," he said, then hesitated.</p><p>"Eira Trevelyan. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Rutherford."</p><p>"Please, call me Cullen," he said as he helped her into her chair. <em>A gentleman,</em> she thought with a little surprise. He took his seat, and the server left them with the menus.</p><p>She trailed her fingers along the edges of the menu, noting details about him through her lashes. He wore a dark suit, cut to fit broad shoulders. Pale skin with pink undertones made the darker stubble on his jaw stand out. He was handsome, but radiated nerves.</p><p>"I really am sorry," he started as he unfolded a few sheets of paper out of his inner suit pocket, "but to tell you anything, you must sign the agreement first. If you change your mind and drop the contract, I must know that the... situation won't get leaked."</p><p>Their eyes met and held, clear grey to golden brown. She stretched her hand out for the papers. "May I have a moment to read them over?"</p><p>"Of course," he said and passed them to her, along with a pen.</p><p>It looked very standard, cut and dry. They would take legal action against her if she spilled any confidential information, including the fact she was hired and by whom. There was no mention of a company or other organization, just the client as the other party. She signed her name in looping script on the last page and presented it to him with another smile.</p><p>The tension visibly drained from those broad shoulders and the wrinkle between his dark eyebrows vanished. "Thank you."</p><p><em>Much better.</em> She sipped her water and her eyes fell to the menu as he tucked the document away again. "The paella here is supposed to be amazing, do you mind sharing?"</p><p>"Not at all. I defer to your judgement."</p><p>Smiling softly to herself, they also decided on an Antivan red wine to go with their meal, ordering from the waiter when he appeared.</p><p>"Excuse me for a minute," she said when he'd left, and made her way to the bathroom. She pulled her phone from her clutch and typed out a quick text.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: Safe at the restaurant, had to sign the NDA first so I can't tell you any details. Seems nice so far. Quite handsome!</p>
</blockquote><p>She smoothed where her navy blue blouse tucked into her grey skirt and checked her lipstick in the mirror, picking up again when her phone buzzed.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Dorian: Good! Text me again when you get home.</p>
  <p>Dorian: It's very boring in the lab tonight. I'd rather be out spying on your client.</p>
</blockquote><p>With a playful eye roll she shot him a kissy face emoji and stashed her phone away, then made her way back to the table. Cullen looked up from his own phone, quickly pocketing it.</p><p>"Your accent, you're from Ferelden?" she asked.</p><p>His lips twitched up. "Yes. You're not from Orlais either, by the sound of it."</p><p>The motion pulled on a thin, jagged scar that cut through one side of his upper lip. It made his smile take on a rakish quality, and her brain tripped a little before catching up with his question. "Ostwick, originally. I haven't been back in quite some time."</p><p>"I was in Kirkwall for a while, myself. I haven't been back to Ferelden in over ten years."</p><p>Her eyebrows rose in interest. "What took you there?"</p><p>There was a hesitation, and a faint shadow crossed his face. "I was transferred to Kirkwall from my previous post. I came to Orlais because they recruited me to the Inquisition."</p><p>"Ah." Divine Justinia V had formed the Inquisition within the last year, before her death, to settle unrest across Thedas. "Does this event have anything to do with work?"</p><p>He nodded, leaning forward with a serious expression. "Have you seen the news about the peace talks between Empress Celene and Grand Duke Gaspard?" At her confirming nod, he continued. "The Inquisition is part of it, and I'm required to be there, as the commander of forces." Those warm brown eyes watched for her reaction.</p><p>She blinked at him. "And you need an escort for..." she trailed off, her voice lilting on a question at the end.</p><p>"I need a deterrent from the court," he fairly growled. "They're oddly persistent in harassing me about my <em>lineage,</em> and..." Cullen made a quiet noise of frustration. "I would like you to pretend to be... involved with me."</p><p>Their meal arrived at that moment, saving her from answering right away. She was grateful for the time given to piece her thoughts together. Once they were alone again, she tapped a nail on the cloth-covered table. "You need a fake girlfriend to keep opportunistic nobles off your back."</p><p>"And my colleagues, if possible. This sounds so ridiculous out loud."</p><p>She swallowed some wine and a laugh while her thoughts continued to swirl. The Commander of the Inquisition wanted her to come along to a diplomatic function and pretend to be his girlfriend.</p><p>Oh, if only she could tell Dorian.</p><p>"If you want it to be convincing for your colleagues as well, we're going to have to start before the peace talks."</p><p>He almost choked on his own wine. "Maker's breath. I hadn't thought of that."</p><p>Smiling into her glass, she regarded him more thoroughly. "It's my job to be a little forward, so I must say I have a hard time believing you're not already taken."</p><p>He flushed under her regard. "I don't have the time. Besides, I haven't been interested in anyone in a very long time." His blush deepened, and he added, "I want to stress that I don't... expect anything of you besides pretending in public. You have my word."</p><p>His voice was so serious, his expression earnest. She smiled at him, filing a mental note about his sense of honor.</p><p>They shifted their attention to the food, and their conversation paused. It <em>did</em> sound a little ridiculous, but interesting. And entirely harmless. And <em>well paid.</em> Besides, he seemed like a decent man who needed a little help. If she backed out, she might be throwing him to the wolves. Decision made, she raised her glass again and tipped it towards him. "Challenge accepted, Cullen Rutherford."</p><p>He smiled at her, wide and genuine, and clinked their glasses together gently. "Thank you, Eira Trevelyan."</p><p>"<em>Eira,"</em> she corrected.</p><p>"Eira," he repeated dutifully, his lovely tenor stressing the roll on the <em>r</em> in a way that was entirely unfair.</p><p>Her pulse stuttered, and she busied herself with their meal, smoothly changing the topic to harmless details about their pasts. The longer they talked, the more relaxed he became. She found herself enjoying his company, settling easily into the role she was to play for the next month.</p><p>Finally, they stood outside the restaurant, and she pivoted to look at him. "Am I allowed to visit you at work, or is it strictly Inquisition only?"</p><p>His brows raised in mild alarm. "Why?"</p><p>"If you want to establish this beforehand, you need to be seen with me now. You should take me to lunch someday soon." She held out her hand, palm up. "May I have your phone for a moment?"</p><p>His brows were going to escape off his forehead at this rate. "Why?" he repeated.</p><p>"We're going to take a selfie and set it as your phone background. You should probably have pictures of me, just in case. I'll put my number in your contacts and send some later."</p><p>He was still hesitating, and she gentled. "Cullen, I want to help you. You seem like a kind man who just wants a break. I promise I won't betray your trust."</p><p>After a beat, he slowly drew his phone from his pocket and unlocked it, then placed it in her palm. She flashed him a brilliant smile, navigating to his contacts and added her number, then texted herself. Opening his camera app, she carefully stepped closer to him and handed it back, directing him to raise his arm while she pulled a few locks of hair out of her chignon to frame her face, giving her a more flirty appearance. Their height difference meant she was about eye level with his shoulder, and she tilted her head in to look closer to him without completely getting in his space. This close, she noticed he had the faintest whiff of something woodsy on his skin.</p><p>He still looked perturbed. "Think of your ridiculous king and his rumored love of cheese."</p><p>She tapped the shutter button when he chuffed out a laugh, then swiped to check the shot. "It'll do," she murmured critically, going through his settings to set it as his phone background. "There."</p><p>Cullen stared down at the screen, looking a little lost and overwhelmed, and slowly pocketed it. "Thank you, again. You seem to be handling this better than I am."</p><p>"This will be over before you know it," she reassured him, then pulled out her own phone to order a ride.</p><p>"Where are you parked? I can walk you to your car."</p><p>"Oh, thank you, but I don't have one. I'm getting a ride now."</p><p>A pause, then, "Would it be too forward to offer to drive you?"</p><p>She looked up from her phone, searching his expression. His eyebrows were tilted in soft concern, and a pang of surprise shot through her sternum.</p><p>At her silence, he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "You're clearly perfectly capable of handling yourself, I just—"</p><p>The smile she gave him stopped his rambling, and she closed the app without finalizing her order. "Lead on, then. My cat is eagerly awaiting his dinner."</p><p>She gave him the address of an apartment building one block over from hers, and he stayed at the curb until she was in the lobby. Thankfully, she'd used this building before for cover and knew their front doors were open. She waved from inside, and he finally pulled away.</p><p>Not long after, she settled on her couch with a fed and content cat on her lap.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: I'm home! Maker, I wish I could tell you about this job. You would die.</p>
  <p>Dorian: You're very evil to be taunting me like this.</p>
  <p>Eira: You can take care of Sol while I'm gone?</p>
  <p>Dorian: I am going to spoil him rotten and he's going to want to go home with me.</p>
  <p>Eira: Rude!</p>
</blockquote><p>She opened her camera roll and scrolled through her album of selfies, looking for ones to send to Cullen, appropriate for the relationship they were fabricating. A small voice in the back of her head wondered how soon she could send him racier photos, and how adorably he would blush in response.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Bzz.</em>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Cullen: I almost forgot, you'll need dresses for dinner and something for the planned celebration ball at the end of the talks, if this all goes off without a hitch. I can compensate you.</p>
</blockquote><p>Eira stared blearily at her screen, the text having woken her early in the morning. She dropped the phone onto her chest and laughed. "Oh, Cullen, you really know how to treat a girl."</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>She spent the next couple of weeks frantically expanding her wardrobe and getting rush alterations, all while wondering if Cullen would balk every time they sent him a bill. She took other assignments in the meantime and carefully planned the items she'd need to pack. Her new dresses would be couriered to the Winter Palace and ready in their suite. There was one small hitch: Cullen hadn't yet invited her to lunch and introduced her to his colleagues.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: I'm not here to nag, but you still owe me a lunch date.</p>
</blockquote><p>As usual during the day, he took a long time to respond.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Cullen: I'm sorry.</p>
  <p>Cullen: Are you free the day after tomorrow?</p>
  <p>Eira: Yes! Can you clear me at Skyhold so I can meet you in the lobby?</p>
</blockquote><p>Another wait. When the text came, she could almost feel his reluctance radiating off her screen. From his brief, almost terse replies, she hazarded a guess that he was swamped with work.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Cullen: Yes.</p>
  <p>Cullen: Noon?</p>
  <p>Eira: I'll be there!</p>
</blockquote><p>She'd already scheduled an assignment for the night before, but it wouldn't be the first time she'd performed on less than an ideal amount of sleep.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Her client from the previous night had wanted to go to a club. Looking up at the Skyhold complex from the street with a dull throb in her head, she willed the painkillers in her system to hang on. The automatic doors whispered open in front of her, and soon she was waiting in the tasteful, spacious lobby. The receptionist at the large central desk had had no problem checking her credentials and notifying Cullen for her.</p><p>He was late, but she had surmised that he was a busy man, and wasn't terribly surprised by the delay. Allowing herself to zone out a little, she idly watched those rushing through the lobby.</p><p>"You <em>never</em> take lunch breaks," a feminine, teasing voice emanated from the opening elevator doors. "It's my job to know things."</p><p>Cullen's impatient voice replied as he stepped out. "<em>Knowing things</em> and <em>being nosy</em> are not the same."</p><p>Eira bit the inside of her lip to stifle a laugh, gracefully rising from her seat and subtly straightening her sheath dress. He turned and caught sight of her, striding towards her while a lithe woman followed him.</p><p>"Hi, Cullen," she called, raising slightly on her toes to place a peck on his cheek. He stiffened. "Put your hand on the small of my back," she murmured to him quickly.</p><p>She'd told him to, but the touch of his big hand gently pressing low on her back shot a thrill through her, goosebumps trailing down her arms under the sleeves of her cardigan. She turned to the woman, whose blue eyes were watching her carefully.</p><p>"Eira, this is Leliana, our head of security," Cullen introduced her.</p><p>A pale hand extended out to shake. "So you're the mysterious woman on his phone."</p><p>She laughed brightly, returning the testing squeeze. "I'm afraid I wanted to steal him away for a little break."</p><p>"I'm glad someone can make him take a break." Leliana gave a half smile on pretty pink lips and glanced between the two of them. "How did you two meet?"</p><p>They exchanged a look, Cullen hesitating a second too long. They'd discussed backstories and come up with a vague idea, but hadn't finalized it yet.</p><p>"Cullen was looking for a present for his sisters, and he stopped at the stall I share." She waved a hand as if looking for words. "At the farmer's market in Belle Marché on Saturdays. He bought some lovely perfume oils."</p><p>"She was quite helpful and charming," he cut in smoothly. "So we exchanged numbers, and, ah..."</p><p>"Here we are," she finished, smiling up at him. His hand was still on her back, careful and light.</p><p>"How lovely. I won't keep you. I'll see you for the two o'clock meeting, Cullen?" He nodded, and Leliana gave them an enigmatic smile. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Eira."</p><p>"Likewise, Leliana."</p><p>His fingers pressed in ever so slightly and she turned as he directed, and they calmly walked outside. Cullen let out a breath once the doors closed again.</p><p>"I'm sorry. If you couldn't tell, I'm a private person and would prefer our lives remain that way," he said ruefully. "But I brought this on myself, and you. Not that I regret meeting you, o-or spending time with you," he added quickly. His hand dropped away, and she was surprised that she missed it.</p><p>"It's fine. Where are we going for lunch?"</p><p>He paused in the act of rubbing the back of his neck, something she noticed as an endearing habit. "I, uh, thought we could go to the cafe across the street."</p><p>"Sure." They waited at the crosswalk, and she thought of two things.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: I won't be at the market two weeks from Saturday, I'll be out of town.</p>
  <p>Sera: boo!!</p>
</blockquote><p>She slid her phone back into her bag. "Do they know I'm coming with you to the peace talks?"</p><p>"They will, at that meeting this afternoon."</p><p>Eira chuckled. "Good luck."</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The time passed swiftly after that. Cullen was busy with final preparations and his text replies had gone even more sporadic. She didn't mind, truly, as it gave her more time to research suppliers for her perfumes. They had agreed on a partial payment up front for her time spent preparing, and she was eager to get the ball rolling on upgrades to the quality of her ingredients, packaging, everything. She would have to plan for scaling up production. With more product on hand than what she kept for the market and her online store, she might be able to get into local boutiques. With so many things to occupy her mind, the remaining week flashed by.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: Do you have time for dinner this week?</p>
</blockquote><p>Another date would help them settle and get to know each other better than the brief texting they'd been engaged in. She'd sent him a few selfies of random moments in her week, but nothing too flirty. Besides, talking to him in person was much more satisfying — she could listen to that intelligent voice for hours.</p><p>Late morning sunlight glinted off the jars of honey lined in rows on the table before her, turning the sweetness inside into liquid gold. It was a beautiful day for the farmer's market, and even Sera was in a cheery mood, less prone to verbal barbs than usual.</p><p>Eira nudged one of the tins of solid perfume on her end of the table, lining it up with the rest. They'd done decent business today. Her partnership with Sera worked out well; if someone stopped for one product, they could usually be enticed to peruse the other. Her thoughts drifted, wondering if she could commission Sera's girlfriend Dagna to build her some clever display racks.</p><p>Someone approached them, and she quickly switched on a bright customer service smile before looking up.</p><p>"Actually, I was hoping you'd be free for lunch."</p><p>Cullen was standing in front of her end of the table, a shy smile on his face.</p><p>"Hi!" Her smile morphed to a genuine one, pleased that he listened and thought to come see her. "The market closes in an hour—" she looked to Sera, whose hazel eyes were darting between the two of them.</p><p>A sly grin stretched the elf's lips. "Go on, then. I'll even pack up your shite for you."</p><p>"You're the best. Oh, Sera, this is Cullen. Cullen, Sera."</p><p>"Pleased to meet you," he said politely, his eyes dropping to the table. "Um, could I get these?" He picked out five wildflower honey sticks from a jar.</p><p>"That's 10 silvers, Cully-Wully."</p><p>Eira was fascinated to watch the tips of his ears turn pink as he dropped the coins into Sera's open palm.</p><p>She gathered her bag and gave her friend's shoulder a squeeze. "I owe you one!"</p><p>Sera waved a hand to shoo them away, and the two made their way into the light crowd of the market. Eira drifted close to Cullen's side. He was wearing a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up his forearms, and she admired the hint of strength on display. "Did you have anything in mind for lunch?"</p><p>"I hoped I could get your opinion on vendors here. We could grab something and go sit in the park?"</p><p>"That sounds great! There's a few food carts over there..."</p><p>Meals acquired, they walked to one of Val Royeaux's many parks that was adjacent to the market, and found an unoccupied bench without much trouble. It was downright picturesque; a shaded bench amidst the green lawn, the sky bright blue with fluffy white clouds passing through, a faint song on the breeze that was a trademark of the city. A kind, handsome man who had surprised her with a lunch date sitting next to her.</p><p>"Sera's also from Ferelden?"</p><p>She flashed him a smile. "Her accent's rather obvious. She was in Denerim for a long time." She tilted her head to the side. "Your family is in South Reach, right?"</p><p>"Yes. We're originally from Honnleath."</p><p>He talked about his siblings, and a small lake just outside the village where he would go for some peace and quiet. As before, she mentioned her own siblings, but skirted around the circumstances of her leaving home. He'd not asked about her main line of work. She wasn't quite sure if he was being polite or a prude. He also avoided talking about his military service and changed the topic.</p><p>"So, why perfumes?" he asked.</p><p>"I've always had a nose for scents. Smell is a powerful memory trigger. It can be really..." she waved a hand as she thought of the term to use, her tone lilting on the next word, "gratifying — to hit on something evocative."</p><p>He made a thoughtful noise in response.</p><p>"What do you like to do for fun? You can't be working all the time."</p><p>"I like to read. History, mostly, or non-fiction about wars and military events. I used to play chess with my sister Mia, but it's difficult to find someone to play with. Besides Leliana."</p><p>She smiled wryly. "I'm afraid I can't help you there."</p><p>"I won't hold it against you, you have other fine qualities." His brain seemed to catch up with his mouth a second later, and he fumbled with his now empty takeout container. "I'll, ah, find a garbage can for these."</p><p>She handed hers over and held in a laugh — she didn't want him to think she was laughing <em>at</em> him. He was just adorable when he was flustered.</p><p>"Would you like to walk?" he asked when he returned.</p><p>They strolled through the park, a gentle breeze stirring her sundress around her knees. She could almost forget that this was pretend.</p><p>Except he had made no affectionate gestures and hadn't touched her at all. His hands remained in the pockets of his crisp trousers the entire time, except when eating. His body language would give away the lie immediately, but she didn't know how to fix it without being blunt with him.</p><p>Her recent experience with romantic relationships was somewhat sparse. The nature of her work meant it was difficult to find someone who was accepting and honest, and she deeply valued truth in a relationship. After a couple of fraught attempts, she had stopped looking. She refused to be shamed. And she certainly didn't need <em>rescuing</em>.</p><p>But sometimes, she craved the casual intimacy of a relationship that went beyond friendship. Sex was fun, but she didn't fool herself with any deeper connection to her clients. Surely he wouldn't want that with her.</p><p>"Eira?"</p><p>His voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and she startled.</p><p>"I'm so sorry—"</p><p>"I was just wondering if you needed help to get your things home?"</p><p>"Oh. No, but thank you. Sera will get it and just bring it back to next week's market while I'm gone." She fiddled with the end of the braid that lay over one shoulder. "Do you need to leave?"</p><p>"Unfortunately, yes. There's still a lot of work ahead before the talks."</p><p>Disappointment curled low in her stomach. "Thanks for lunch," she smiled through it, "and for taking the time."</p><p>The scarred side of his lips twisted up in a smile of his own. "Thank you for indulging me. I, ah—" he cleared his throat and his gaze shifted away from hers. "I'll see you later."</p><p>She waved as he headed out of the park, then sighed to herself. A lot of work ahead, indeed.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"You realize the timing of your little getaway is highly suspicious, my dear."</p><p>Eira glanced up as Dorian wiggled his phone screen in her direction. She caught a glimpse of a headline about the upcoming peace talks, and her heart jumped in her throat.</p><p>"You know you can't get secrets out of me that easily."</p><p>"Unfortunately true." He returned to perusing the article, his grey-green eyes flicking over the text. "Interesting bit about the Inquisition being there."</p><p>She hummed noncommittally as she poked at the last of her takeout.</p><p>"Interesting organization in general, the Inquisition. Charming collection of the oddest people, somehow working together."</p><p>"Can't say I've paid too much attention to who works there."</p><p>"I consulted for them on a Tevinter issue — don't look at me like that, I couldn't talk about it either. It was like a setup for a particularly bad joke. A Dalish, a Tevinter, and the Left and Right Hands of the Divine walk into a bar." He sighed and set his phone down, nudging her to scoot over on the couch.</p><p>She wiped her fingers on a napkin and discarded the container on her coffee table as Dorian arranged a pillow on her lap. "Headache?"</p><p>"Just a little, and I do so like being pampered by your lovely self. Indulge me?"</p><p>"Always." Eira's lighter fingers settled on his deeply tanned skin, smoothing his fashionably styled hair away from his temples. "It must be such a burden to cram all that knowledge in that pretty head of yours."</p><p>"I know. Somehow, I bear it." He let out a contented sigh as she gently worked at the muscles in his forehead.</p><p>"Something bothering you at work?"</p><p>"A knot to untangle later. Distract me with describing your dresses, since I can't pass final judgement on them myself."</p><p>She let out a soft laugh and slid her fingers into his dark hair.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eira and Cullen arrive at the Winter Palace, and complications arise.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With many kisses and promises to miss him, she left Sol behind with instructions for Dorian in an email. She waited in front of the apartment building down the block with an enormous rolling suitcase, sunglasses reflecting the morning sun that peeked over the tall buildings. Her hands flexed inside the pockets of her motorcycle jacket, restless with excitement.</p>
<p>Cullen's car pulled up to the curb, and he swiftly came over to wheel her suitcase to the trunk. "Maker, what do you have in here?"</p>
<p>"Things I need to make you look good," she retorted, without any heat behind it.</p>
<p>He chuckled and opened her door for her, then returned to the driver's side while she laid her bag next to her legs.</p>
<p>"Good morning," he said shyly, and she looked up from buckling her seat belt.</p>
<p>"Good morning," she smiled at him, gaze lingering on the darkened purple smudges under his eyes. Was he not sleeping well? Was he that nervous about the event, still?</p>
<p>"We should be there in about three hours, if traffic cooperates." He had his phone mounted to the dash, with the map navigating to Halamshiral.</p>
<p>Humming a response, she pulled a knitting project bag out of the larger bag at her feet and settled in as he eased the car into traffic.</p>
<p>"You knit, too?"</p>
<p>"Gives me something to do with my hands that I can carry with me. It can be soothing. Feels productive." She wiggled a bit of yarn. "And I get to make something nice for myself."</p>
<p>He grunted thoughtfully.</p>
<p>"Oh!" She dipped her hand into the bag on the floor and withdrew a handful of honey sticks, placing them in the cup holder. "Snacks, courtesy of Sera."</p>
<p>A smile ticked up the corner of his lip. "That was nice of her."</p>
<p>Eira wasn't going to tell him the lewd thing Sera had said when she handed them over, but it had made her laugh.</p>
<p>The drive went smoothly, peppered with conversation and underscored by low music and the soft clicking of her needles. It surprised her a little, how comfortable she felt in Cullen's presence. He certainly had the physique and position of authority to be threatening, but instead he mostly seemed calm, controlled, and respectful if distant. She hadn't realized the time had passed until he pulled the car into the drive to the palace, and she watched the manicured greenery slide by and the big golden gates draw closer.</p>
<p>They were checked and waved through by security without issue, then the valet, and soon they were being guided to their suite with their luggage. Keys were handed over, and the servant hurried back down the hall as Cullen opened the door. Eira's critical eye swept over the suite as she stepped in after him; most of the palace she'd seen so far was unnecessarily gaudy as most imperial things were, covered in gold and draped in Valmont blue, or cardinal red, or both at the same time. She'd seen more golden lion statues than she could count. Ahead of her, Cullen made a strangled noise.</p>
<p>"Is something wrong?" She came up next to him with concern, her hand hovering to reach for his arm.</p>
<p>His hand scraped down his face. "There's only one bed. I didn't think."</p>
<p>The offending bed was huge and covered in a wealth of pillows at the head. Glancing around, she noted a couch set in front of an unlit fireplace. It would be cramped, but it was a second option. Honestly, she had expected this. "That bed is large enough to fit three adults comfortably. We'll be fine."</p>
<p>Cullen looked at her incredulously. "No. I'll sleep on the couch."</p>
<p>"You're too tall. If you're that uncomfortable with the situation, <em>I'll</em> sleep on the couch."</p>
<p>He set his mouth in a firm line, and he looked ready to argue again. She raised her hands in a placating gesture. "We can put all those ridiculous pillows down the middle of the bed and each sleep on one side."</p>
<p>That made him hesitate.</p>
<p>With a remarkable show of restraint, she calmly pressed her point home. "Mr. Rutherford, I'm a professional, I'm entirely capable of sleeping in a bed with a <em>platonic</em> client and keeping my hands to myself. You need to be well rested for this event. Sleeping on a couch will not be restful."</p>
<p>He huffed and closed his mouth as if he thought better of a retort, when a soft rap on the door interrupted them. Cullen went to answer it, revealing a striking Antivan woman.</p>
<p>"Ah, you must be Eira," she smiled warmly, past Cullen. "I'm Josephine Montilyet, the Inquisition's ambassador."</p>
<p>Eira hurried up to the door. "Eira Trevelyan, it's a pleasure to meet you."</p>
<p>"The pleasure is mine. I apologize for taking him away for a bit, but the Inquisition must meet before dinner tonight. Cullen, will you please join us in the Inquisitor's suite in an hour? We're all in this wing, she's in the room on the corner on this side of the hallway."</p>
<p>"Of course."</p>
<p>"Until later," Josephine said, and left to wrangle the rest of the delegation.</p>
<p>With the door shut, Cullen turned back to Eira with a sigh. "We can argue about this later. Do you need any assistance?"</p>
<p>Knowing when to concede for the moment, she shrugged. "Not right now, no. Do you?"</p>
<p>"No. If you don't mind, I'm going to unpack and then review some things."</p>
<p>They busied themselves with unpacking, Eira easily finding her altered dresses hanging in garment bags in one wardrobe. She lingered in the en suite, eyeing the large separate tub and shower. She decided she'd refresh herself before dinner while Cullen was away.</p>
<p>Later, she found him sitting on the couch with a tablet balanced on his knee, a frown marring his features. Silently, she seated herself on the opposite end of the couch, tucking her legs up under her. He glanced at her, frown twitching into a faint smile.</p>
<p>"How are you?" she asked him quietly.</p>
<p>His eyebrows lifted a little in surprise. "I'm fine."</p>
<p>"You just looked a little tired this morning."</p>
<p>Those golden brown eyes slid back to the tablet. "Just concentrating on work. It's important." She hummed, and he looked at her again. "How are you?"</p>
<p>"I get to wear pretty dresses all week and hang off the arm of a handsome commander. I'm great."</p>
<p>His lip quirked up and he checked the time on his watch, then stood. "I don't know how long this meeting will take, but I'll be back in time to get changed."</p>
<p>"Have fun!"</p>
<p>He shook his head with humor and left. Eira locked the door behind him and made a beeline for the tub.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Eira finished wiggling into her deep emerald dress, adjusting the elbow-length sleeves with a sharp eye in the large bathroom mirror. A thin belt sat at her natural waist and nearly disappeared against the shimmer of crystals that covered the torso, eventually trailing out at the hem of her floor-length skirt that draped in full waves from her hips. Her plunge-front shapewear and a little fashion tape ensured she stayed in place, despite the deep vee of the neckline. The rich color accentuated her medium fair skin, smooth and soft in contrast to the texture of her dress. Satisfied that her makeup was flawless, and her hair was still securely pinned in a chignon with an accenting braid to one side, she took a steadying breath.</p>
<p>She'd have to ask Cullen to finish zipping her up.</p>
<p>He was clearly unused to physical contact and even less so with casual affection, considering how he reacted when she greeted him at Skyhold. To sell the idea that they were actually dating, he needed to loosen up and act natural around her. She had a flash of regret about not bringing it up during their walk in the park.</p>
<p>But the last thing she wanted was to make him uncomfortable.</p>
<p>She emerged into the main room of their suite to find Cullen doing his own fussing with his uniform. He hadn't noticed her yet and she allowed herself a moment to look her fill. The heavy, dark jacket emphasized his shoulders with crisp lines, the standing collar and modified double breast edged in silver piping. A crimson sash cut down his torso and matched the one wrapped around his waist beneath a belt. Dark trousers tucked neatly into boots that he'd meticulously polished. He turned as he closed the final button at his throat and the light caught a deep blue undertone to the jacket, raising her approval. Stark black would wash out his complexion.</p>
<p>"Do you need a hand?" she called softly, her gown whispering over the floor as she walked towards him.</p>
<p>He looked at her and froze, eyes widening. "I —" His throat worked, visible even over the top of his high collar.</p>
<p>Eira gave him her gentlest smile and stopped well out of his personal bubble.</p>
<p>"I, ah," he tried again. "Do you mind..." he trailed off and picked up a brush for his jacket.</p>
<p>"Not at all. I have to ask, first," her voice went apologetic. She twisted around to show the zipper that wasn't quite done up at her back. "I can make do with a safety pin and some yarn to pull it up, if you'd rather."</p>
<p>He was silent behind her, and she willed calm into her hands. "I won't push you, but couples generally touch each other casually, even in public. But we don't have to."</p>
<p>Cullen stepped closer and she felt the lightest tug on the zipper, then at the tiny hook at the top. She held her breath for the moment it took him — he was so careful not to touch her skin.</p>
<p>"All done."</p>
<p>She turned and smiled at him, the corners of her eyes crinkling. "Thank you."</p>
<p>"You're right, though. I'm sorry if I seem too distant."</p>
<p>"It's fine, Cullen. I'm here for you." It was so simple to say, but it surprised her how she meant it. She held her hand out for the brush, which he placed in her palm.</p>
<p>She stayed as detached and light as possible, removing the last traces of lint and dust from his uniform, hesitating before reaching for his collar. "May I?"</p>
<p>At his nod, she adjusted the fit at his throat and smoothed the line of silver buttons down his chest. "All done," she echoed him.</p>
<p>"Thank you." Offering her his elbow, he smiled, lopsided and sweet. "Ready?"</p>
<p>She tucked her hand in the crook of his arm. "Let's go."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Empress Celene welcomed the assembled guests to the Winter Palace, and the peace talks officially began.</p>
<p>Eira hadn't been back in the presence of so many gathered nobles in nearly fifteen years. It was at once familiar and alien, and she reminded herself to breathe, to loosen the knot between her shoulders. Her mother wouldn't materialize from the crowd and tell her to smile. Her father wouldn't try to introduce her to yet another lord with wandering eyes and hands. She had grown and matured since her last foray into noble circles, and she was no longer a child without agency. The reminder calmed her.</p>
<p>Cullen, however, did not have the benefit of previous experience. His very demeanor announced how uncomfortable and out of place he was in this setting. The urge to protect him from the court's ulterior motives was overwhelming, twisting tight in her stomach.</p>
<p>The upside of dinner was her introduction to the rest of the Inquisition delegation. Inquisitor Mihren Lavellan made her laugh with her wit and was outwardly unfazed by the stares of the court. Her pointed ears and the branching Dalish tattoos over her light brown cheekbones made her an outsider, yet she commanded and charmed in equal measure. Eira liked her already.</p>
<p>She and Cassandra Pentaghast did not get along as easily; the Nevarran woman apparently hated this event more than Cullen and acted standoffish. However, once Cassandra overheard her enthusiastically discussing Varric Tethras' books with him, she promised they would talk more later.</p>
<p>Varric himself was gregarious and made her swear to help him with his mission to keep "Curly" — his nickname for Cullen — from wearing a serious expression so often. Eira idly wondered how much convincing it had taken Josephine to get him to button his uniform up all the way. Every author photo she'd seen had his chest on display.</p>
<p>Vivienne, the famed Madame de Fer, was the most intelligent and socially savvy person she'd ever spoken with — aside from Dorian, who was a professor of quantum physics. She also had the most <em>excellent</em> taste in fashion. Eira wondered if the two had met during his consulting stint, and the thought delighted her.</p>
<p>Leliana seemed at ease in the court, and Josephine was the very picture of a social butterfly. There was something familiar about her, but she couldn't put her finger on it.</p>
<p>Despite the fascinating company, she worried about Cullen. He looked increasingly tired as the night wore on, and she was relieved for him when dinner was finally over. They broke off for drinks and socializing, and before long some nobles that had already been eyeing him began to drift in their direction. <em>He wasn't exaggerating,</em> she thought quickly as she brushed close to him, threading her arm through his. "Is it too soon to retire?"</p>
<p>"I'm not sure I care," he muttered. "Why?"</p>
<p>"Your vultures are already circling and I'm not sure we're ready to deal with them yet."</p>
<p>He let out an impatient sigh. "You're frighteningly well versed in dealing with nobles," he groused under his breath.</p>
<p>Eira squeezed Cullen's elbow as she deftly guided him through the throng of Orlesians. "Well, Trevelyan <em>is</em> a noble house. As a child, I was educated in certain arts." She kept her voice pitched low, leaning in to him slightly to better reach his ear. The additional height given by her heels gave her an advantage — to observers they looked every bit like a doting couple having a private conversation. That soft woodsy scent still lingered on his skin, something she could only catch this close to him.</p>
<p>"You're <em>nobility?</em>"</p>
<p>She waved her free hand, dismissing the technicality. "Lucky for you, <em>I</em> accepted your assignment. You get my help in navigating this mess as a bonus. I really ought to charge you extra," she teased.</p>
<p>"Maker's breath. I feel like we should have covered this in our chats about backstories."</p>
<p>"In my defense, I prefer to distance myself from my family."</p>
<p>He looked at her like more questions were on the tip of his tongue, but he held it for now. She gave his elbow another squeeze, and finally they exited the ballroom. When they reached the guest wing, there was no one around to pretend for, and she let her hand slip from his arm to give him space.</p>
<p>Safely in their suite with the door locked, she breathed a little easier. "Do you need the bathroom before I monopolize it again?"</p>
<p>"No, go ahead. Ah—" he gestured vaguely towards her. "Do you—"</p>
<p>She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing and presented her back. "Please."</p>
<p>Still so careful, he pulled the zipper down cautiously, no farther than where she left it the first time. Flashing a smile over her shoulder, she slipped into the en suite.</p>
<p>When she exited, clean faced and arms full of gown, she saw Cullen on the couch, down to his shirtsleeves and massaging his temples. "Just let me put my things away and it's all yours," she called. He didn't respond, and she hurried.</p>
<p>Finally finished, she knotted her robe tightly and approached the couch on bare feet. "Cullen?"</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, is there something you need?" Even his voice sounded rough.</p>
<p>"No, just..."</p>
<p>"I'll be fine. I have meetings to attend all day tomorrow," he said as he got to his feet with a bundle of clothing and headed to the bathroom. "I'll be back before dinner. There should be someone around to ask if you need anything." There was already a pillow and a blanket on the couch.</p>
<p>"Alright," she said, just before the door closed behind him.</p>
<p>She shed her robe and crawled into the bed. <em>Something is clearly going on with him, it's not personal,</em> she told herself, and settled down into the mountain of pillows with a book.</p>
<p>He came out dressed for sleep and wavered towards the couch, pausing as he spread out the blanket. "Good night, Eira."</p>
<p>"Good night, Cullen." She hesitated, then closed her book and turned off the bedside light.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Something woke her in the middle of the night, and she lay still in the unfamiliar room. The sound of shifting came from the couch. A few heartbeats later, Cullen growled.</p>
<p>Her pulse pounded in her ears and she strained to listen.</p>
<p>"Leave me—" he broke off with a gasp, startling upright.</p>
<p><em>A nightmare?</em> She stayed silent, her own heart rate slowing as he lay back down. Nightmares weren't something she really dealt with. Would he even want help, or would she just scare him more?</p>
<p>He was quiet now, harsh breathing modulating back to evenness.</p>
<p>She lay awake anyway and listened for any further sounds of distress from him, emotion squeezing tight at her heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>She'd woken briefly when Cullen got ready in the morning and then left, but had elected to sleep in if she was allowed. Now she stood at one of the huge picture windows of their suite, looking out over one of the Winter Palace's many gardens. Sleepily, she wondered if she could flag down a servant and bother them for tea.</p>
<p>The door unlocked, and she spun, not expecting anyone to come in unannounced. Cullen stepped in, looking sheepish.</p>
<p>"You were, ah, missed at breakfast and I've been thoroughly chastised. The Inquisitor's team was hoping you'd be available for lunch."</p>
<p>"Oh." She fidgeted with the end of the braid she wore for sleeping. "Sure."</p>
<p>He made to leave again, and she bit back the questions hovering in the front of her mind. He said he had meetings all day; he was busy, and he certainly didn't seem like the type of person who wanted attention called to his nightmares.</p>
<p>Alone, she brought out her phone and stared at the dark screen, unsure of what to do.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"Don't you have to be part of the peace talks?"</p>
<p>She and Varric loitered at a table in the dining hall after lunch, as she savored an extra tiny tart she'd gotten by batting her eyelashes at the right person.</p>
<p>He snorted. "Not really. Besides the advisors, we're mostly just here to assist Her Inquisitorialness. Though, the three of us were specifically chosen for this particular mission."</p>
<p>Eira hummed thoughtfully. "Mind getting into some trouble with me, then? I'd like to get some fresh air."</p>
<p>Varric slid from his chair and gave a flourishing bow, making her laugh. They headed amiably towards the nearest gardens; there were benefits of being in the presence of a famous author, mostly that people were distracted by him and his chest hair on display, and ignored her.</p>
<p>"I knew Curly back in Kirkwall, you know."</p>
<p>"Really?"</p>
<p>"Well, <em>knew</em> may be a bit of a stretch, but yeah. He was much colder then. Harsher." Varric paused, running a hand over his sandy-colored hair. "Kirkwall was shit for everyone, but I heard he came with some serious baggage from Ferelden."</p>
<p>She stayed silent. Cullen had barely spoken of his past work, avoiding or glossing over the topic whenever it came up. She'd been in Kirkwall for a time herself after leaving her family as a teenager, and the city-state was a hotspot for violence and unrest.</p>
<p>Varric eyed her as they meandered through the garden paths, then slowed to a stop near a fountain. "Curly seems like a decent guy these days. I'm glad someone like you is around to keep him from being so serious all the time."</p>
<p>"I'm trying," she murmured. Then, "Are you saying I'm not serious?" She put her hands on her hips and frowned at the dwarf playfully.</p>
<p>His brown eyes pinned her. "I'd say you're serious about pretending to be his girlfriend."</p>
<p>Eira had anticipated some pushback from the court, but not the Inquisition. Her breath froze for a heartbeat, then she let out a disbelieving laugh. "What?"</p>
<p>"I haven't figured out <em>why</em> you two are dancing around each other, but I hope for both your sakes you have good intentions."</p>
<p>With that parting shot, he left her standing alone next to the fountain.</p>
<p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Her phone buzzed, and she tapped the notification to see that Dorian had texted her a photo of Sol, belly up for the camera.</p>
<p> </p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: My baby!</p>
  <p>Dorian: There you are. I hadn't heard from you and was getting worried. Is everything all right?</p>
  <p>Eira: I should have known that was bait.</p>
  <p>Eira: I get to wear beautiful dresses every night. Why wouldn't I be fine?</p>
  <p>Dorian: That's not an answer, my dear.</p>
  <p>Eira: You're annoyingly perceptive.</p>
  <p>Dorian: One of my many fine qualities.</p>
  <p>Dorian: Do I have to come find you and ruin someone?</p>
  <p>Eira: No!</p>
  <p>Eira: It will be fine. I just can't talk about it.</p>
</blockquote><p>Her fingers worried at the bevel of her phone, touched at his concern and protectiveness, yet frustrated that she couldn't tell him anything. She wished she could get his opinion. His clever mind would untangle all of this instantly.</p>
<p> </p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Dorian: Well, Sol and I miss you terribly and you're going to have to show me your dresses when you get home.</p>
  <p>Eira: Deal!</p>
  <p>Eira: I miss you too.</p>
</blockquote><p>Worrying at her lower lip, she decided that a soak in the enormous tub in their suite was in order to relax before getting ready.</p>
<p>In a short time she was submerged in pleasantly scented hot water that was crowned with a ridiculous amount of bubbles. With a sigh, she slid down a little more, resting her head against the lip of the tub. She allowed her mind to drift.</p>
<p>The soft buzz of her phone eventually roused her, and she checked the notification after drying her hands.</p>
<p> </p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Cullen: I hope you're having a good afternoon.</p>
  <p>Cullen: I should be back on time, barring any last minute changes.</p>
</blockquote><p>A wild thought sprang into her head, and she shifted in the water, briefly considering, eyeing the bathtub around her. Varric thought they weren't acting enough like a couple? Fine.</p>
<p>She rearranged her legs, thankful for the thick layer of bubbles, and took a strategic photo of her view — nothing particularly scandalous, but the <em>implications </em>said more.</p>
<p> </p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: Having a lovely time. These bathtubs are great for soaking!</p>
  <p>Eira: [photo]</p>
</blockquote><p>The message was marked as read almost immediately, so he must have still been in a meeting break. She waited, but no response came quickly, and she set her phone back on the edge. Hopefully he wasn't disapproving and she hadn't just upset him.</p>
<p>The water was cooling by the time he replied.</p>
<p> </p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Cullen: That does look very relaxing.</p>
</blockquote><p>Had she gone too far? Worried, her thumbs flew over the screen.</p>
<p> </p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: I'm sorry if that photo was too forward.</p>
  <p>Cullen: I was just surprised.</p>
  <p>Cullen: Please enjoy the amenities while we're here.</p>
  <p>Cullen: At least one of us should.</p>
</blockquote><p>There was a pause and she almost thought he was done responding.</p>
<p> </p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Cullen: I'd rather look at a photo of you than these pompous Orlesians, anyway.</p>
</blockquote><p>Delight curled through her chest and she found herself smiling widely at her screen.</p>
<p> </p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: Oh, I'll have to take more selfies then.</p>
  <p>Cullen: I wouldn't object.</p>
  <p>Cullen: I will see you later.</p>
</blockquote><p>Setting her phone aside, she hugged her legs to her chest as she grinned.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Cullen was waiting for her when she finished dressing for the evening, his uniform in place, fidgeting with the brush in his hands.</p>
<p>"Did you enjoy your relaxation time?"</p>
<p>She approached him in a swish of silk organza, a smile creeping over her lips. "It was very nice. It made me think that I should do some research into making bath products."</p>
<p>"Oh?" His touch was as light as ever on her back when he hooked and zipped her in, but she swore his hand lingered.</p>
<p>"I don't want to get into soaps, but maybe there's a way to translate my perfumes to bubble bath." She checked the wide straps and square neckline of her dress before she turned back to him.</p>
<p>His chuckle was rueful as he passed her the brush. "I don't think I've taken a bubble bath since I was a child."</p>
<p>"If there was ever someone who needed time for relaxation, it's you, Commander."</p>
<p>As she swept his uniform with brisk strokes, he stayed silent, and she held her tongue. When he spoke up again, his voice was quieter, thoughtful. "I've always had so many responsibilities. It feels selfish to take time for anything else."</p>
<p>She chose her next words carefully. "It does feel selfish. Sometimes it can be an investment in yourself, though. Self care is important to keeping yourself in peak shape, mentally and physically." They both lapsed into silence again, not needing to fill the space with chatter. She let him chew on her words, hoping it was the gentle nudge she wanted it to be.</p>
<p>Finished, she slid around to his side. So close to him, she was pleased to note that the sapphire of her dress brought out the midnight undertones in the fabric of his uniform. He offered her his arm automatically, and together they went to face the court.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The seating had changed the second night to mix the guests, and Eira quickly found herself doing most of the heavy lifting of conversing with the assortment of nobility and dignitaries at their table. She charmed and listened and slipped in tidbits she had picked up from Josephine, currying favor for the Inquisition where she could. Cullen occasionally spoke up when the topic drifted into his areas of expertise, but he was otherwise quiet.</p>
<p>When they moved to the ballroom after dinner, she excused herself on their way there, and slipped out to the courtyard garden. An acoustic musician played softly into the night air. Some guests had already filtered outside, but she found a quieter corner near the railing that looked out onto the grounds below.</p>
<p>She braced her hands on the marble and let the cool stone ground her. A soft, refreshing breeze ruffled the long lines of her skirts; the fresh scent it carried was a welcome change to the mixed odors of so many people inside.</p>
<p>She wanted to linger here. A moment to think and just be by herself, in the middle of this crowd of self-important nobility. It had only been a day, but she wasn't used to having so little privacy, and she wished she could truly be alone for a little while.</p>
<p>But... she needed to get back to him.</p>
<p>Stopping to get them both a glass of wine, she scanned the room, trying to spot his blond hair and Inquisition uniform amid the peacocks of the court. Glasses in hand, she made a circuit of the perimeter. She found him in a knot of vultures, though he had tried to hide close to a corner of the room.</p>
<p>"Are you married, Commander?" purred one woman in a gown that evoked a dragonfly.</p>
<p>"Not yet, but I am already taken," he replied in a firm tone.</p>
<p>"Still single, then?"</p>
<p>A sly looking man was edging close to Cullen's side, and she was uncomfortably familiar with that expression. <em>No.</em> Heart in her throat, she hurried to him and feigned tripping on her dress.</p>
<p>Red wine splashed down his chevalier's uniform. A chorus of gasps and an outraged shout drew attention to their group.</p>
<p>"You stupid woman!" he yelled, his sputtering face going red with anger.</p>
<p><em>At least the wine matches his face,</em> she thought bitterly. "I'm so sorry," she fretted, playing up her fake concern, as Josephine appeared in the middle of the commotion.</p>
<p>"Ser Lapoisson, please calm yourself. I'm sure a staff member can assist with lifting that stain," Josephine soothed. "This was an accident."</p>
<p>Cullen surprised her, coming up to shield her from the chevalier's sight and gently cupping her elbow. "Are you all right?"</p>
<p>"I'm fine," she said. His golden brown eyes were filled with concern, and his expression morphed to the serious mien of Commander.</p>
<p>"Josephine, can you handle this?"</p>
<p>The ambassador made a shooing motion, and it was Cullen's turn to guide her out of the ballroom to their suite. He surprised her further by wrapping his arm around her waist, protecting and steadying, and he didn't let go until he took out the key. The door clicked shut, and she leaned back against it with a sigh.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, that was a little drastic," Eira said sheepishly.</p>
<p>He looked at her with surprise, then laughed as he dragged his fingers through his hair. "I had a feeling that was faked." He shook his head. "My knight in high heels."</p>
<p>It was the first time she'd heard him truly laugh, unrestrained. The sound curled up under her sternum, fuzzy and warm, and she instantly decided she needed to hear it more often. She sketched a curtsy, and he laughed for her again.</p>
<p>A little social embarrassment to fake her way through was worth his safety and his laughter.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>In the pitch black of the night, Eira startled out of a deep sleep, pulse already thundering in her ears. Cullen whimpered, and the sound lanced through her heart.</p>
<p>She swung her legs over the side of the bed and waited, breathless, for him to wake up. There was no telling how he'd react to her trying to bring him out of the nightmare, but his sounds of distress pricked at her. She gripped the sheets under her hands. <em>Please wake up, Cullen, please.</em> Each breath felt like an eternity and she second guessed herself every other heartbeat, but by the time she worked herself up to do <em>something</em>, he shot up with a gasp, a dark shape over the back of the couch. She waited.</p>
<p>He sat and breathed, and she unconsciously matched the rise and fall of his chest as he worked through a breathing exercise. After a time, Cullen peered towards the bed as if to make sure she was still asleep, and she stared back at him, silent.</p>
<p>"I—" he swallowed and tried again, "I'm sorry if I woke you up. Please go back to sleep."</p>
<p>"Cullen, let me help."</p>
<p>"You don't have to—"</p>
<p>"I want to."</p>
<p>The dark and silence between them was heavy, but she pushed through it, sliding off the bed with a whisper of silk against fine linens. She padded to the bathroom and returned with a glass of water, coming to stand near the far arm of the couch. She waited, again. Finally, he stretched out a hand and she passed him the glass, watching but saying nothing when she saw how his hand trembled. He drank in long pulls and set the empty glass on the low table before the couch.</p>
<p>"Can you get back to sleep?"</p>
<p>Silence answered for him, and she worried at her lower lip. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead, spotted the chest of his plain t-shirt. She returned to the bed and shuffled the mound of pillows around, then called softly to him. "Please come here."</p>
<p>A long pause, and then she could see him levering himself up from the couch. She crawled up to lean back against the headboard in her makeshift pillow nest, patting a pillow on top of her lap when she was comfortable. "Please."</p>
<p>He hovered next to the bed, the tense lines of his body radiating uncertainty. With someone else she might have joked or cajoled to diffuse tension, but with him she waited, patient and calm.</p>
<p>Cullen joined her, and she directed him to lie with his head in her lap. He finally settled, and she tentatively brushed her fingertips over his disheveled hair, waves beginning to break out of his pomade. "Do you get headaches?"</p>
<p>He nodded, and she pressed cool fingers to his temples, gently rubbing the tight muscles in circles. She worked in silence, feeling him slowly, slowly start to relax, shoulders pressing into her thighs, his eyes falling closed and the lines of tension on his face smoothing out. She had a brief thought of the lavender spray she'd packed for relaxation, but she was loath to get up now. He'd seen too many nights on short sleep, smudges obvious under his eyes even in the past-midnight darkness of their room.</p>
<p>"Do you get nightmares often?"</p>
<p>A long sigh gusted out of him. "They're not usually this frequent..."</p>
<p>"Stress of the peace talks?"</p>
<p>"Some of it is."</p>
<p>Their voices were quiet, hushed, intimate in this shared moment of time between the night and the morning, and she studied his face, the high planes of his cheekbones, the strong line of his stubbled jaw, the tiny dip in his chin, and the curve of his nose. Her eyes lingered on the softness of his lips, briefly wondering about the texture of the jagged scar cutting through his upper lip.</p>
<p>She eased her fingers back over his ears, continuing to massage his scalp with untiring hands. She whispered to him a story she'd been told as a child, about two brothers; how they journeyed up a mountain to catch a star for the little brother, and how the older brother couldn't have completed the task without the help of his little brother — that it takes more than bravery to defeat fear.</p>
<p>By the time the story ended, Cullen's chest was rising and falling with deep, even breaths and her own eyelids had grown heavy with exhaustion. Still, she carefully smoothed out his hair so as not to wake him, mindful of how he always presented himself as collected and in control. She nestled into the pillows, joining him in sleep within minutes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The story Eira tells Cullen is courtesy of Snips, who has the best nickname in the world as confirmed by Gideon Emery.</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eira tries to help Cullen, and has a fortuitous chance meeting.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Early morning light suffused the room through the curtains, dragging Eira out of sleep. She almost stretched, then stopped herself and forced puffy eyes open, checking for the other occupant of the bed.</p>
<p>She found it empty, just her and a mess of pillows. A touch at the spot beside her revealed cool sheets, his body heat long gone.</p>
<p>Disappointment lodged in her throat before she could rationalize it. Turning her face into the pillow, she squeezed her eyes shut. Had she scared him off? Did he regret letting her close? That insidious voice in the back of her mind whispered to her again; he'd hired her. This was pretend. <em>Stop feeling.</em></p>
<p>The lock clicked and she heard Cullen nudge the door open. She blinked her eyes open once more and saw him setting a tray down on the far corner of the bed. Struggling upright, she met his gaze as he looked up.</p>
<p>"I thought I'd let you sleep a little more, but I didn't want you to miss breakfast," he explained while bringing her a mug of tea.</p>
<p>She took it, cradling it in both hands, its warmth matched by a wave of gratitude that washed through her. "How are you feeling?" she asked, smiling softly at him over the rim.</p>
<p>"Better, thank you." He hesitated and then moved the tray farther up the bed and carefully climbed in, settling cross-legged. "I guess your username is accurate." At her sleepy stare, he clarified, "Mercy, I mean."</p>
<p>She huffed out a self-conscious laugh. "Oh. I guess, yeah." Changing the subject, she eyed the plates. "What treats did you bring me?"</p>
<p>He slid the tray closer and she traded her mug for a plate of eggs and assorted bits of breakfast food. The whole scene was amazingly domestic. Despite the interrupted sleep, she relaxed and felt almost content. Being spoiled with breakfast in bed was an excellent thank you.</p>
<p>Biting into a flaky pastry, she hummed in pleasure, eyes closing. When she opened them again, Cullen was hurriedly looking away to busy himself with his cup of tea, the tips of his ears turning pink. <em>Oh.</em> She shifted to hitch the sheet up a little higher over her chest, suddenly aware that her silk camisole and matching shorts left her with a little more skin exposed than he was probably comfortable with.</p>
<p>"Do you have meetings again all day?" she asked, brushing a crumb off her full lower lip.</p>
<p>"Mostly. I'll get to join you for lunch today, at least." He was gazing at her with a guarded look in his eyes.</p>
<p>She gave him a smile sweeter than the pastry. "Good."</p>
<p>His expression eased, and she felt something ease in her chest in response.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Indeed, the entire Inquisition delegation met for a private lunch, as casual as possible considering their location. Cullen had removed his jacket and his sleeves were rolled up again. Her eyes lingered on the muscle in his forearms as he gestured with his hands when he became animated; they were supposed to be dating, so a little visual appreciation wasn't out of line. She wondered exactly how strong he was, and if he was all strength and power, or if he had a more delicate touch when needed.</p>
<p>Josephine's rolling accent brought her attention back to the conversation. "Ah, Eira, did you ever attend your Great Aunt Lucille's parties?"</p>
<p>"<em>That's</em> where I recognize you from!"</p>
<p>The ambassador smiled more broadly at her. "It's a shame we never got to know each other when we were younger."</p>
<p>"I don't mind making up for lost time," she said with genuine intent. Josephine was unfailingly polite and sweet and <em>frighteningly</em> competent. "Actually, may I borrow a moment before you have to go?"</p>
<p>"Of course." They left the table and stepped to an alcove, out of earshot.</p>
<p>"Thank you for your help diffusing the situation I caused last night," Eira started.</p>
<p>"It was no trouble. Ser Lapoisson has a reputation for being a brute when he can get away with it." One of her eyebrows arched. "Was the wine not an accident?"</p>
<p>Her expression smoothed into seriousness. "No." She took a breath and lowered her voice. "He was about to assault Cullen."</p>
<p>"I see." Josephine's lips thinned, and her eyes glinted as her political mind began to churn. "I appreciate you telling me."</p>
<p>"Cullen just wants to be left alone by the court. It would be a shame if I had to throw wine at every one of them by the end of the week."</p>
<p>She made a noise of disapproval. "I will deal with Lapoisson and come up with some ideas for the other half of the problem." Eyeing her, her lips spread in a smile once again. "Thank you for trusting me with this, Eira."</p>
<p>"Thank you, Josephine."</p>
<p>"Now, I'm afraid I must go meet with some gentry who are holding out support for the Inquisition. Until later."</p>
<p>Cullen was settling his jacket back on as she returned to the table. He turned to her, and she made an aborted move to reach for him.</p>
<p>"Can I fix your tie?" she asked quietly.</p>
<p>"Please."</p>
<p>She did, smoothing it down, hand lingering, and glanced up at him through her lashes. He was giving her a lopsided smile.</p>
<p>"Have fun," she murmured.</p>
<p>Cullen shook his head with amusement and surprised her by squeezing the hand on his chest, then he was striding out of the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The afternoon was too beautiful to stay inside, so she found another garden to explore. Armed with a notebook, she strolled off the meticulously manicured path and headed towards a bed of well-kept flowers. This particular garden was lightly occupied today, serene and lovely, and Eira found herself humming quietly as she lingered over the blooms. A soft frown of concentration settled on her face as she scribbled notes on the scents of particular flowers, drifting between the beds.</p>
<p>It was a welcome reprieve to do work for herself. Her original assignment of acting as Cullen's girlfriend was more involved than it was first proposed. Not that the complications were entirely negative. Her mind drifted back to his sleeping face, softer in repose, his careful composure of the daytime relaxed into vulnerability under her massaging hands —</p>
<p>"Enjoying the garden?"</p>
<p>Eira startled at the interruption, her thoughts scattering like burst soap bubbles. A woman stood nearby with a faint smile on her face.</p>
<p>"Ah, just taking some notes, actually."</p>
<p>"Oh?" her eyebrows peaked in curiosity.</p>
<p>She gave a little self-conscious laugh. "I make perfumes as a side business. I'm just taking advantage of the gardens and was hoping to get some inspiration."</p>
<p>"How lovely!" The woman leaned in and sniffed a showy iris. "These always smell like candy, to me."</p>
<p>"Here, have you smelled this one?"</p>
<p>They pointed out flowers to each other and chatted easily about scents, and Eira became slowly more animated as she opened up.</p>
<p>"I have an online store and a spot at a farmer's market in Val Royeaux, but it's difficult to get a foot in the door in boutiques."</p>
<p>"Are you from Val Royeaux?" the woman asked, braids sliding over her shoulders as she tilted her head.</p>
<p>"No, Ostwick originally. Oh! I'm Eira, by the way —"</p>
<p>"Delphine, of Savrenne. It's a pleasure to meet you."</p>
<p>"Likewise," she gave Delphine a genuine smile.</p>
<p>"Are you here as a dignitary from Ostwick?"</p>
<p>"No, I'm actually an... accessory to the Inquisition delegation."</p>
<p>She sighed, like the topic was a frequent point of contention. "My family is split over supporting them. Some say they're trying to change things too much, others say they're not going far enough."</p>
<p>Eira considered silently. "If it helps at all, I believe the people in charge are trying to do their best to change things for the better. That change isn't always easy."</p>
<p>Delphine hummed. "That's true."</p>
<p>Chimes sounded from a pocket of the woman's skirt, and she drew out a phone with one slim brown hand and silenced the notification. "And there's my family. Sorry for having to leave so abruptly."</p>
<p>"Unfortunately, I understand." They shared a laugh, and Delphine moved towards the palace. "Have a good afternoon!"</p>
<p>"Hopefully we'll meet again before the talks are over!"</p>
<p>She looked over the gently swaying flowers and gave a brief thought to her family back in Ostwick. Shaking her head, she bent again to sniff.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Cullen texted her later that his meetings were running long, but he would be back in time to dress for dinner.</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Cullen: Maker's breath. I'd be happy to never set foot again in the Winter Palace.</p>
  <p>Eira: Surely there must be something you enjoy about this trip.</p>
</blockquote><p>Seated near the window in their suite to read, she took a selfie, carefully arranging the neckline of her blouse to show the barest peek of cleavage, her rosy lips soft and smiling for him. She attached it and hit send before she could second guess flirting with him again. This was part of pretending, right?</p>
<p>He didn't reply, and she assumed he was focused on the meetings and had stowed his phone away, as usual. A while later, a soft buzz interrupted her reading.</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Cullen: I'm sorry, I didn't mean</p>
  <p>Cullen: You look lovely. As always.</p>
  <p>Cullen: I will see you later.</p>
</blockquote><p>She bit her lip gently, the corners curling up in a smile. She hoped he was blushing during the meeting.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Eira had chosen her dress tonight because the skirts reminded her of a flower. Soft black descended from the sleeveless bodice to shift into folds of cool pinks and blue before fading out into white around her feet, like great full petals.</p>
<p>Gossip had, naturally, spread quickly among the court about the incident the night before. She'd been snubbed by a handful, but was surprised by private gestures of approval aimed in her direction, all within the confines of the Game. She stayed close to Cullen, keeping him within her eyesight, but the attention directed towards him seemed more cautious, now.</p>
<p>Cullen leaned on the railing next to her, absently watching the dancers on the floor below. "I assume you're not one for dancing," she said softly, voice pitched just for his ears, lightly teasing and coy.</p>
<p>He let out a short, humorless laugh. "No. The military doesn't exactly train us to dance."</p>
<p>"That's too bad."</p>
<p>Shifting a little to look at her, he raised his eyebrows.</p>
<p>"There's a lot to notice about a pair from the way they dance together. Are their hands light, like they barely want to touch each other? Do they move together as a team or are they performing their part separately?" <em>How would you dance with me?</em> went unspoken, held back by fear.</p>
<p>He gazed down at the swirling figures. "It's a bit like reading someone you're fighting, then."</p>
<p>She hummed. "Body language is universal, it just has different applications." Her eyes swept over him briefly, but to her disappointment he was still looking at the dancers.</p>
<p>"You should ask Leliana about someone's shoes. She can pick them apart in fifteen different ways on that alone."</p>
<p>"I don't doubt it," she laughed, and then a rising murmur caught her attention.</p>
<p>The Inquisitor was lining up on the central dance floor with Grand Duchess Florianne de Chalons.</p>
<p>Florianne was playing hostess for the peace talks, acting as a mediating party between her cousin the Empress and her elder brother Grand Duke Gaspard. They bowed, and then twisted around each other, Florianne's butterfly-like skirts swishing in counterpoint to Mihren's trim, altered uniform. The Inquisition delegation all wore the same uniform at its base, and the crimson shone against her tan complexion, silver accents winking in the light.</p>
<p>Eira wondered briefly if she and Cullen would look as stunning on the dance floor.</p>
<p>She risked a glance at him; he watched the pair for a moment, then scanned the ballroom intently, forehead creasing. Leliana and Josephine stood opposite them, dark and copper heads leaned towards each other as they murmured. The inner circle was nowhere to be seen.</p>
<p>Clearly, something deeper than a dance was going on. Her shoulders had tensed, and she forced them to relax, lest she gave something away. She wasn't privy to the Inquisition's machinations here. Neither did she want to impede them. So she watched and waited silently as the Inquisitor and the duchess danced.</p>
<p>Much of the court had drifted towards the railings to watch, and another murmur of approval swept through the crowd when Mihren executed a flawless dip, holding Florianne effortlessly.</p>
<p>As their dance drew to a close, she could see the advisors making subtle signals to each other. Cullen leaned towards her. "I need to confer with everyone. I'll be back as soon as I can."</p>
<p>"Don't worry about me," she gave him a reassuring smile. "Go, be the Commander."</p>
<p>He left her alone, and she let her gaze sweep casually over the ballroom. This was Orlais, for better or worse, and of course there would be some deeper games at play. Turning, she lifted a glass from the tray of a passing servant and just let herself observe for a bit.</p>
<p>Grey eyes spotted ochre brown skin exceptionally highlighted by a stunning gold dress, braids styled up into a crown befitting a queen. She slid around clusters of people, calling out as she approached.</p>
<p>"Delphine, that dress is amazing."</p>
<p>Delphine flashed a smile and turned towards her, the woven fabric catching the light. "Thank you, Eira. You look lovely, yourself."</p>
<p>"Thank you! I hope your evening is going better than your afternoon."</p>
<p>"It wasn't so bad, thankfully," she said, pausing to sip on her own drink. "Did I see you next to the Commander of the Inquisition?"</p>
<p>Eira allowed her lips to curl into a smile. "You did. Are you here with anyone?"</p>
<p>"Accessory, indeed. Just myself, as the Du Bois-Fondu heir. My family may be split on the Inquisition, but they do want to see the civil war ended."</p>
<p>"Of course."</p>
<p>"Actually, I never got your family name."</p>
<p>"Ah, it's Trevelyan."</p>
<p>Delphine paused for a moment, thinking. "There are quite a few Trevelyans in the Chantry, correct?"</p>
<p>"Yes," Eira replied, keeping her tone and expression neutral and pleasant.</p>
<p>Sable eyes glanced past her shoulder, stalling whatever follow up question she had. A moment later, hesitant fingers brushed her lower back. She looked up as Cullen joined her at her side.</p>
<p>"Forgive me," he murmured.</p>
<p>"There's nothing to forgive. Cullen, may I introduce you to Lady Delphine Du Bois-Fondu of Savrenne? Lady Du Bois-Fondu, this is Commander Cullen Rutherford of the Inquisition."</p>
<p>"A pleasure."</p>
<p>"The pleasure is mine, Lady Du Bois-Fondu."</p>
<p>Eira assessed him with a swift glance, noting general tension in his posture. He caught her eye and lifted an eyebrow slightly in question. Leaning in to him, she threaded her arm through his, her lips curling slow and sweet.</p>
<p>"Commander, would you mind introducing me to your ambassador? I believe she and I have some things to discuss."</p>
<p>Cullen quickly looked back to Delphine, clearing his throat. "Of course." He led them to Josephine, who received them with her impeccable, diplomatic grace.</p>
<p>By the time Delphine bid them all a good night, the women were laughing like old friends and Josephine was promising to send an invitation for a conference call with Delphine's family. Once the lady had left, Josephine <em>tsked</em> at Eira.</p>
<p>"Cullen, I could kiss your lady. The Du Bois-Fondus control a number of mines, and I've been trying to woo them for ages. If they ally with the Inquisition, it could get us direct access to resources."</p>
<p>Eira flushed lightly, brushing her fingers over the braid that twisted into her chignon. "I'm just happy to help."</p>
<p>"Thank you, Eira," Cullen said softly. She felt his hand come up to touch her back once again, and she nearly shivered. <em>When did he become more comfortable with touch?</em> "Josephine, are you all right for the evening?"</p>
<p>Josephine waved a soft brown hand at them with a smile, dismissing them good-naturedly. "Of course. Good night."</p>
<p>Eira kicked off her heels the second they were inside their suite with a grateful sigh.</p>
<p>"I really should be thanking you more," Cullen said ruefully, shrugging out of his jacket. "You've helped us..." his voice lowered, "and me."</p>
<p>The hands that had been working on removing her jewelry stuttered for a second. "You're welcome."</p>
<p>He was silent for a moment, then, "Eira? Be careful around the palace. Something's not right."</p>
<p>She twisted to look at him, taking in his somber expression, and nodded. "Should I be looking for anything in particular?"</p>
<p>"We're not quite sure yet." He rubbed at his mouth, brow creased with agitation.</p>
<p>"I'm sure you'll figure it out soon," she said and gathered up her pajamas to change. "I'm a careful woman."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Eira lay nestled in her slightly smaller mountain of pillows against the headboard, her concentration only partially on the book in her hands. The soft sounds of Cullen getting ready for bed in the bathroom had stopped, and she willed her fingers not to show too much strain on the pages.</p>
<p>The door opened, and she kept her eyes trained on the words. He put his things away neatly, in their proper place, and then approached the couch, glancing her way as he did. He stopped. She turned a page, hoping she projected nonchalance.</p>
<p>While he was in the bathroom, she had built a wall of pillows down the middle of the enormous bed, just as she'd suggested that first afternoon.</p>
<p>He cleared his throat.</p>
<p>"Better sleep will help you," she said quietly.</p>
<p>He hovered there for a few moments longer, then picked up his tablet and sat on the couch. The bright screen illuminated him from below, backlighting his head and broad shoulders. Only the bedside lights were on, the rest of the room dim outside of their warm glow.</p>
<p>She sighed internally, wondering if even this low key approach to prompt him to take care of himself was too much. He'd hired her to pretend to be his girlfriend, not his carer. Trying to focus her attention back on the story was failing. She set the book aside and turned off the lights.</p>
<p>"Good night, Cullen," she called as she wiggled down into the sheets.</p>
<p>"Good night," came the distracted reply.</p>
<p>She tucked the sheets over her shoulder and snuggled up to a pillow, missing the soft warmth of her cat. Sol would usually curl up on her arm and tuck himself under her chin like a sweet baby —</p>
<p>The bed shifted slightly as Cullen climbed in to the other side.</p>
<p>Relief washed over her, and a smile turned up her lips. She relaxed into the soft bed when he settled in, and it didn't take long for her to fall asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eira discusses romance, romance novels, and a potential partnership.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nothing woke her over the night. She drifted awake feeling rested, sleepily blinking at the grey that was lightening the room through the curtains. Wondering how long she had until she needed to get ready for breakfast, she lazily stretched and reached for her phone on the bedside table. The pillows at her back shifted, and a hand that had been on her side slid off.</p>
<p>She froze.</p>
<p>Carefully, she looked over her shoulder. Cullen was curled around a mess of the former pillow wall between them, one arm flung out to reach towards her over one fluffy pillow. His face was relaxed in sleep. He looked younger, less serious. The pomade he used had loosened in the night and a wave fell over his forehead.</p>
<p>She bit her lip as her heart squeezed. Carefully, she retrieved her phone and silenced the alarm. She wasn't sure when his own alarm was set, but he needed whatever extra sleep he could get. Easing back down under the covers, she gazed at him again, ignoring the itch in her fingers to smooth back that wave in his hair.</p>
<p>She could see this being a regular thing, with him. Not as a client, for real. But that kind of thinking was dangerous.</p>
<p>When she woke up again, the shower was running, and he’d replaced the pillows down the middle of the bed.</p>
<p>A glance to the window revealed an overcast day, rain pattering softly against the panes. Her heart sank a little; there would be no seeking another garden to explore today. She worked herself up to lean against the headboard, waiting for Cullen to finish getting ready. She had a faint sense of regret for moving earlier and dislodging him. Was he a restless sleeper usually, and that was the result of him flailing, or...</p>
<p>The bathroom door opened and he exited in a button-down shirt and suit pants. His hair was still damp and unstyled, the loose curls surprising her. She tried to swallow a laugh and let out a snort.</p>
<p>Golden brown eyes shot to her from across the room, and he flushed.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, your hair is just so different. I didn't mean—"</p>
<p>He let out a beleaguered sigh, grabbing something from his wardrobe. "It's fine."</p>
<p>"It's just — it's cute." At his stare, she waved, flustered. "You're not usually cute. You're very put together and controlled."</p>
<p>"Oh." He dropped his gaze and went back to the bathroom.</p>
<p>She wanted to put her face in her hands. Or her foot in her mouth.</p>
<p>"The bathroom's yours," he said, returning once he was groomed. He flashed her a smirk. "And you snore a little. It's cute."</p>
<p>Heat bloomed on her cheeks as a mix of surprise and self-consciousness welled in her, underpinned by a vein of attraction. <em>That damn scar with that smirk is unfair.</em> "Oh," she managed, and slid out of bed, fleeing into the en suite to quickly get ready for the day.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>They arrived a little late to breakfast, earning a curious look from Varric. Mihren and her advisors clustered together, going over developments from the night before, if their serious expressions and low voices were any sign.</p>
<p>Cassandra, seated next to her, slipped her a well-worn paperback book. "Have you read this?"</p>
<p>It was a copy of <em>Obeying Her Order</em>, apparently a torrid tale about military men, judging by the tastefully risque cover. "No, I haven't."</p>
<p>"If you don't finish it by the end of the talks, you can return it to me later," she murmured, a slight blush on her sharp, tan cheekbones.</p>
<p>"I'm sure I'll enjoy it," Eira smiled and tucked it away on her lap. "Thanks, Cassandra."</p>
<p>Cullen approached her before he left, lightly touching her shoulder to get her attention. "I'll see you for lunch."</p>
<p>"Have a good morning."</p>
<p>He nodded to Cassandra and strode off, and she shamelessly admired him from the back.</p>
<p>Cassandra snorted quietly. "At least you seem to get him to rest more."</p>
<p>She looked back to her, eyebrow raised.</p>
<p>"He looks better, even though this event has been stressful. People say I'm stubborn, but truly, he's worse."</p>
<p>Eira laughed, warm and low. "It's a good thing I'm patient, then."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>She wandered the halls of the palace that morning, looking for a quiet spot to tuck herself away. Mindful of Cullen's warning, she didn't stray too far, keeping to areas with a court presence. She was disappointed to find the grand library locked. Luckily, there were many alcoves in the guest wing that lined an enclosed garden. Once settled into an unoccupied bench, she pulled her knitting project out of her bag and began to work, fingers soon flicking along, turning yarn into fabric. She allowed her mind to center on the soothing pattern of stitches and the tap of rain on glass next to her.</p>
<p>She didn't mind that Cullen had replaced the pillows down the center of the bed; he was likely embarrassed, given how concerned he seemed to be with propriety and being a gentleman. He had stressed that he expected nothing of her from the start. She absolutely wasn't going to push those boundaries more than she already had, to make this ruse more believable. Not that she would mind those polite hands on her more often, though.</p>
<p>Sternly, she shoved that thought down. <em>Don't get involved with clients, it always ends badly.</em> And he hadn't shown any indication of being interested in her that way. Besides, what would Cullen see in her? A noble who had left her title behind, living the life of an escort and selling perfumes on the side. Her life sounded so shallow, when reduced to the barest details. She knew only the broad strokes of his military career, though something obviously had traumatized him in the past.</p>
<p>When she saw someone in pain, she wanted to help however she could; she wasn't about to let him have nightmares and not get enough sleep all week. To her, he'd only ever been kind, thoughtful, careful, and intelligent.</p>
<p>That was probably just how he was with everyone, the cynical side of her said.</p>
<p>Heels clicked over polished marble floors and she looked up as they approached, finding herself smiling up at Madame de Fer. "Done with court business for the morning?"</p>
<p>"Yes, thankfully." Vivienne eyed her critically for a moment. "Come along, my dear. We'll have tea."</p>
<p>Eira carefully stowed her knitting and followed her through the halls to a sitting room, where servants quickly set out a tea service for the two of them. Madame de Fer had been a courtier and advisor to the empress for many years. Based on her reputation, the deference shown didn't surprise Eira at all. The woman commanded with cool grace and accomplished skill.</p>
<p>"I'm surprised I haven't seen you at court before, my dear."</p>
<p>She concentrated on smoothly stirring milk and sugar into her cup without clinking against the porcelain. "I'm afraid I'm not in Orlais as a Trevelyan."</p>
<p>"Why ever not?"</p>
<p>"I'm estranged from my family. I haven't spoken to them since I left Ostwick."</p>
<p>"I see," Vivienne said. Ever tactful, she changed the subject. "I've been curious about the dresses you've been wearing each evening. Who does your alterations?"</p>
<p>Back on more comfortable footing, they discussed fashion and speculated on trends for the next season. Eira was building a theoretical scent profile on Vivienne in the back of her mind. A personalized perfume for her would have to be absolutely unique; nothing less would do.</p>
<p>"You're a very patient woman, to get as little attention from the Commander as you do."</p>
<p>Eira paused as her pulse thrummed momentarily, then resumed sipping her tea. "I'm less concerned about quantity than quality."</p>
<p>Vivienne smiled at her approvingly. "Smart woman." She took a drink of her own, then set the cup back on its saucer. "Allow me to give you some advice, as a woman who has been in a relationship for almost as long as you've been alive. Everyone will tell you relationships take work — of course they do," she said with a wave of one umber hand. "You must remember that they only work if you approach everything as a team. You either both win, or you both lose, together."</p>
<p>She let her words sink in, absently toying with the handle of her cup. "Thank you for the advice, Vivienne."</p>
<p>"Of course, darling."</p>
<p>Another pause, and then she looked at her, entreating. "What's it like to be in a relationship with one person for that long?"</p>
<p>Vivienne leaned back in her chair, expression going soft and fond. "You get comfortable, but it's not a bad thing. You do have to watch out for <em>complacency.</em> There's vulnerability to being so close to someone; it's wonderful, if you're doing it right. You should have lives separate from each other, and that's healthy. No one person should be everything to someone."</p>
<p>They shared silence for a time, Eira thinking of her friends. It sounded almost exactly like a good friendship.</p>
<p>Suddenly, she missed Dorian, and being able to share every detail with him, and get his advice and sly commentary. Even when he got excited about something related to physics and he rambled on, and it went over her head, but she was so happy he trusted her with his enthusiasm. She missed being a sounding board for Sera when she came up with another ridiculous scheme and helped her scale it down to something more practical. Or when Sera would get worked up over an injustice, and she would help make phone calls and find organizations to support.</p>
<p>Even the darker times, when something hurt, and they withdrew and needed space, or extra attention, even just a text with a cute picture.</p>
<p>She made a mental note to send them both reminders of how much she loved them.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Tonight, she wore heavy grey silk decorated with a damask-like pattern picked out in crystals over the bodice, trailing over her hip and down the line of the slit in her skirt. The sleeveless sweetheart neckline and hourglass shape emphasized her figure to the point of feeling a little self conscious when Cullen looked over.</p>
<p>A flush crept up his neck from under the collar of his uniform. She hesitated in approaching him, the quiet drag of her train stopping. "Too much?"</p>
<p>"What? No! It's just..." His throat bobbed as he cleared his throat. "You look beautiful."</p>
<p>She could feel the warmth of a blush bloom on her cheeks, and she smoothed a hand over her crown braid to distract herself. "Thank you." She'd been called beautiful before; catcalled at, the words thrown by ingratiating clients, drunken club patrons. Sincere expression threw her off. Coming from him... Pleasure curled around her heart, soft and shy.</p>
<p>Looking to him again as he came closer, he quickly averted his eyes and fussed with the collar of his jacket. "Your zipper?"</p>
<p>She turned carefully, mindful of the train of her dress. She looked forward to this nightly ritual of theirs, almost armoring up before facing the court. The barest brush of his fingers, the shivering line of his presence behind her, decorous still but closer than he usually stood. It was a different kind of dance than she was used to.</p>
<p>It was thrilling. And he was off limits.</p>
<p>She twisted back around to take the uniform brush from him, and he stepped out of her space. Concentrating on the action of cleaning his uniform, she refocused her mind.</p>
<p>"How are the talks going?"</p>
<p>He made a frustrated noise and shifted his shoulders. "The Inquisitor has been investigating and we don't like what she's found. This is far more complicated than it should be. The elven Ambassador Briala is having trouble with her people, as well."</p>
<p>Humming, she moved around him, then trailed her fingertips down his back when she finished. "I believe we're presentable now."</p>
<p>"I'd rather be comfortable, and not here," he groused.</p>
<p>Silently, she set the brush back down and stepped to his side.</p>
<p>"Not that I don't want to be here with you—" he said hurriedly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just—"</p>
<p>"It's fine, Cullen."</p>
<p>"No, it's not fine." Surprising her, he turned and carefully took one of her hands. "You've helped me with more than what I asked for. More than what I expected. I shouldn't take my frustrations out on you."</p>
<p>His thumb was rubbing absently over her knuckles as he spoke, and he was gazing at her seriously. A soft curl of emotion returned under her sternum.</p>
<p>"You're a kind man. I can't just sit by when you need help."</p>
<p>A smile quirked up one side of his lips, and he tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow. "Shall we?"</p>
<p>She gave his arm a squeeze, and they made their way to dinner.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>By some grace of seating arrangements, they shared a table with Delphine that night. The lady easily shifted the group topic to business.</p>
<p>"What types of mines do the Du Bois-Fondus have?"</p>
<p>Delphine directed her smile at Eira. "Silverite. We're very lucky that an ancestor discovered it in Savrenne."</p>
<p>She made a noise of agreement, hastily wracking her brain. "It doesn't rust, correct?"</p>
<p>"Correct. It's an excellent material for weapons and armor manufacturing. The Inquisition is grateful for your support, my lady," said Cullen, surprising her with his interjection.</p>
<p>"Of course, Commander," replied Delphine. "I'm glad that you brought your lady to the talks. This has been a very beneficial week for us all."</p>
<p>Cullen's gaze flicked to Eira and she gave him a fond smile in return, not needing to fake sincerity. She had come to admire what the Inquisition was accomplishing in the time since Cullen had hired her. She was allowed glimpses into their operations, snippets she heard from Cullen and Josephine. It was impressive. Inquisitor Lavellan truly seemed to be directing the organization into a force for peace and a better world.</p>
<p>His eyes warmed as he gazed back at her, and he opened his mouth to say something, but the gentleman at his other side redirected his attention with a question.</p>
<p>Eira caught Josephine as they filtered into the ballroom, before she was whisked off to wage her own brand of polite warfare.</p>
<p>She linked her arm with the ambassador's, pitching her voice low. "I haven't seen Ser Lapoisson."</p>
<p>Josephine's face was perfectly pleasant and polite, but her tone was smug and satisfied. "He was sent home. Along with the most recent incident, his cumulative behavior was pointed out to relevant parties. He is all but stripped of his title; though, that may follow as well." She tutted. "Chevaliers have a strict code of honor, but it takes too much for their misdeeds to be punished."</p>
<p>Nodding in agreement, she gave Josephine's arm a grateful squeeze. "You're a darling. We both owe you."</p>
<p>"It was nothing. I do enjoy using my powers for good." Her dark eyes glimmered with humor. "If you'll excuse me, I see the Dowager and must pay my respects."</p>
<p>They parted ways and Eira easily found Cullen, discussing tactics with a small group of men in Orlesian military uniforms. She stood at his side, allowing herself to only listen with one ear, idly observing the court. There was no need for her participation in this conversation.</p>
<p>There was an undercurrent of discontent in the air. The empress and the grand duke were nowhere to be seen, and hadn't been interacting with the guests publicly since the first night. Elven servants were scarce. The Inquisitor was also increasingly absent, taking her companions with her this time. It was strange. Were the talks really going that badly?</p>
<p>"Ah, but we're taking your attention away from your lady. She is dressed too beautifully to just stand around. It would be a crime not to show her off on the dance floor." The highest ranking man, Anton, was giving her a once over, and she felt his unwanted gaze on her like an oily film.</p>
<p>"I do agree that she would look stunning in a dance," a voice said from her other side, and she flashed a grateful smile at Delphine. "Join me?"</p>
<p>She turned back to Cullen. He had a slight furrow between his brows, looking disapprovingly at Anton, but it smoothed as he fixed on her. "Just because I don't dance doesn't mean you have to be a wallflower with me. Enjoy yourself."</p>
<p>Still, she hesitated. Would he be safe from the court, some of whom still watched him like something to be exploited?</p>
<p>His lips spread in a half smile, and he nodded, the unspoken words there. <em>I'll be fine.</em></p>
<p>Running a hand down his bicep, she murmured courtesies to the officers and offered her arm to Delphine. Their skirts brushed together, grey silk and gauzy violet, as they descended the stairs to the dance floor.</p>
<p>"Thank you for saving me. I'm not afraid of earning a reputation for throwing wine on every ass in this building."</p>
<p>Delphine laughed, bright and rich, then moved around to take her place. She had a couple inches of height on Eira, with a dancer's physique, and framed up for their dance with effortless grace. "As exciting as that would be, I'd rather have the chance to dance with you."</p>
<p>The musicians started the next song, and Eira led Delphine, glad it wasn't a faster paced dance. She had to be mindful of the short but not insignificant train of her dress. "Are you looking for a potential match, my lady?" She asked it lightly, inwardly wary.</p>
<p>Delphine stepped lightly, dress swirling, silver bands in her hair winking in the light. "I'm not interested in a marriage that would only be for appearances."</p>
<p>"Oh?"</p>
<p>"I'd be more interested in the cake served at the wedding than anything else that night entails," she said delicately. "That doesn't mean I don't want friendship, however. And I love dancing."</p>
<p>Catching her meaning, Eira smiled at her with true warmth as she led her in a circle, nimbly avoiding others on the dance floor. "Then I'm happy to dance with you."</p>
<p>"Excellent. I'm sure we make a lovely picture. Even your man is watching."</p>
<p>It took a second for her thoughts to catch up, and she wanted to crane her head around to look for him on the upper railings. <em>Really?</em> The question hung trapped behind her teeth. Why would he? He seemed far more interested in discussing military tactics and historical battles than any of the more courtly or diplomatic discussions.</p>
<p>She wished they had more time to themselves to talk, but she supposed it didn't matter. He would be out of her life in a couple more days.</p>
<p>Somehow that made her feel worse.</p>
<p>"I'd like a chance to meet with you tomorrow, actually. If you have the time," Delphine continued, and Eira inwardly winced as she realized she'd been too caught up in her own thoughts to respond to her observation. <em>Clumsy.</em></p>
<p>"Oh?" she replied. "Is it a surprise, or may I ask why?"</p>
<p>"As the heir to my family, I'm looking to the future to diversify our holdings. I've actually spoken to Master Tethras about his family's business dealings," she paused to perform the next steps in the dance, taking her out of comfortable earshot. "I'm interested in more high end fashion, personally."</p>
<p>"Of course," Eira had, naturally, noticed her clothing and gowns.</p>
<p>The dance came to an end and they curtsied to one another. Offering her arm, they slowly returned to the main level.</p>
<p>"I've been working with couture houses in Val Royeaux on developing my own line. You mentioned your perfumes, and I wondered if you would be interested in pairing them with, say, a certain gown or outfit that a designer makes. For example," she waved a hand downward, gesturing to her dress, "you might pair this with something with violets. Or lavender. But because it's you, you put a twist on it. It's not just plays on the color theme."</p>
<p>She pulled away a little to eye her critically, the gears in her head turning. "Marshmallow fluff and violets, because the silhouette is frothy at the bottom, and the effect is sweet. But," she nibbled at the inside of her lip, "a light finish of something spicy, peppery. You're not in this dress to play at being a princess."</p>
<p>Delphine beamed at her, and the enthusiasm made her shine. "Exactly!"</p>
<p>A fluttering sense of excitement grew under her sternum. "I'd be delighted to meet with you tomorrow to discuss details."</p>
<p>They exchanged information and parted with giddy smiles. Eira couldn't believe her luck, and she floated on a cloud of hope as she scanned for Cullen along the railings. She began to worry, and the feeling faded the longer she couldn't spot his unique uniform and that wave of blond hair.</p>
<p>"Eira," he said from behind her, and she turned to find him holding two glasses. "Did you enjoy dancing?" He held one out to her, filled with clear liquid.</p>
<p>She raised it up and sniffed subtly, and he gave her a small smile. "Just water. I thought you might be thirsty."</p>
<p>"Thank you, and I did." Drinking, she eyed him as he glanced around the ballroom; something he'd been doing more often, every night that the peace talks went on. "I have little chance to do courtly dances anymore. I'm glad I didn't completely embarrass myself."</p>
<p>He chuckled, his gaze returning to her. "Not at all. You looked..." he seemed to catch himself and cleared his throat. Something sparked in her chest and she leaned toward him slightly.</p>
<p>"Yes?"</p>
<p>"Ah, you dance well."</p>
<p>The feeling sank, but she smiled at him, regardless.</p>
<p>The rest of the evening passed by uneventfully. Cullen disappeared with the advisors before they retired for the evening, and came back distracted, still carrying the weight of Commander on his shoulders. He seemed to throw some of it off with the suite door locked behind them, and he sighed as he started unbuttoning his jacket.</p>
<p>"I have a rather daft question."</p>
<p>Eira twisted around to look at him with one brow raised, hands still working at removing her jewelry.</p>
<p>"You... smell different every night. How many perfumes did you pack?"</p>
<p>She laughed brightly, warmth spreading in her chest that he noticed. "Several small bottles. It's indulgent, but I like tailoring my perfume to what I'm wearing."</p>
<p>"Tonight it's tea, but I can't quite place it."</p>
<p>"A Denerim Fog, my favorite drink."</p>
<p>"Ah."</p>
<p>She thought about telling him of her plans with Delphine, but hesitated, the words catching on a lump in her throat. Why would he care about her personal dealings? It didn't affect the Inquisition or their situation here.</p>
<p>They went to bed, separated by the sentinel pillow wall. Eira sat up reading the book Cassandra had lent her, while Cullen frowned at his tablet. His soft voice interrupted her in the middle of a lurid scene.</p>
<p>"I'm told my sister Rosalie reads those types of books, too."</p>
<p>She glanced over to him with a mischievous smile. "Maybe you should ask Cassandra to get in contact. They could start up a book club."</p>
<p>"Maker's breath," he winced. There was hesitation in his next question. "I've wondered why exactly they're so popular with some people."</p>
<p>Settling more comfortably in her nest of pillows, she considered. "It can be about just the romance, or the somewhat socially acceptable erotica. But also..." she rested the well-worn paperback in her lap, running an affectionate finger down the softly thumbed edges. "The women get to <em>enjoy</em> the sex. There's almost always a happy ending. The woman is paid attention to and emotionally validated. They get to choose."</p>
<p>Cullen was silent, absorbing, and she kept her gaze fixed firmly on the book in her lap.</p>
<p>"I never thought of it that way."</p>
<p>She risked a glance at him and noted the thoughtful cant to his eyebrows. He unlocked his tablet once again, and she assumed he was returning to work, so she cracked the book back open to finish the chapter before sleep.</p>
<p>"Would you recommend the one you're reading now?"</p>
<p>"Cassandra has good taste. Is Rosalie interested in stories about military men?"</p>
<p>"Um, I'm not sure I know her... tastes, but if you and Cassandra like it, it's probably worth a shot. I'll mention it in my next email to Mia." The tips of his ears were turning a charming shade of pink, and he was looking at her with a guarded expression. "Are you?"</p>
<p>"Am I what?"</p>
<p>"Interested in military men. Stories about them, I mean."</p>
<p>He had qualified his question hastily. Her pulse thudded in her ears, and she wet her lower lip before answering. His gaze dropped for a split second before returning to her eyes.</p>
<p>"I like stories about people who are doing their best, and choosing kindness and compassion, despite what the world throws at them."</p>
<p>His nod of agreement was a beat late, and he hastily turned back to his tablet, which was suddenly fascinating. "Thanks for the recommendation."</p>
<p>She hummed and tried to turn her attention back to her reading, but her concentration had evaporated. Thoughts swirled in her head, unable to settle. Why was he asking? Why did he care? Why was she suddenly imagining him as a character in the book?</p>
<p>Tucking a bookmark between the pages, she set the book on her nightstand and turned off the light on her side. "Good night, Cullen."</p>
<p>"Good night, Eira," he said quietly. "Do you want me to turn off my light?"</p>
<p>"No, you're fine." She wiggled down under the sheet and rolled on her side away from him. Willing her thoughts to settle, she closed her eyes and tried not to fixate on the barriers between them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Hope you're having a lovely week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The penultimate night of the peace talks goes sideways.</p><p>The canon-typical violence tag applies to this chapter.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eira woke up <em>warm.</em> The slow drift to consciousness brought awareness: of breath stirring her hair, strong arms encircling her, her face pressed into a t-shirt clad chest, and a muscled thigh tucked between her legs.</p><p>She felt blissfully safe and comfortable for a split second before her brain caught up, and her entire body stiffened. <em>Oh, shit. </em></p><p>Cullen was curled around her, and she fought a rising tide of guilt and panic, trying to think of a way to extricate herself without waking him. He was so clear about his boundaries. This was probably sailing over each and every one.</p><p>But he was warm and solid, and somehow this felt right, and his thigh was <em>right there. </em></p><p>But this wasn't right, he wouldn't do this consciously, and she had to fix this before he woke up.</p><p>Carefully, she eased her lower half back as much as she could, staunchly ignoring the regret simmering in her stomach as she disengaged from his warmth by inches.</p><p>She was at a loss on how to get out of his arms and worried at her lower lip. Her own arms were trapped between them. His chin was somewhere just above her head, perilously close to being bumped. What if she pretended to turn in her sleep? Then at least if he woke up from her moving, they wouldn't have to acknowledge anything. But no, he would probably still be embarrassed — at best — by their proximity.</p><p>Gingerly she tried to slide down out of his arms, keeping her wiggling to a minimum as much as she could. A soft chime began to ring, growing in volume. <em>Fuck, his alarm,</em> she thought as her panic spiked, glancing up to check. She met eyes that rapidly widened as he woke up.</p><p>"I'm so sorry—" she breathed out as his arms immediately released her.</p><p>"What—" he croaked.</p><p>She was already sliding out of the bed and quickly gathering items out of her wardrobe. "I'm sorry for crossing your boundaries. I'll just go get ready first and be out of your way." Discomfort tugged at her and she kept her eyes averted as she fled to the en suite.</p><p>In the shower, she covered her mouth with her hand and tried in vain not to think about how it felt to be held like that.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Breakfast was... awkward. She acted overly cheerful to cover for her avoidance of him before they headed out, and during the meal itself. They still performed small, unconscious habits; when he refilled his tea, she automatically passed him the honey for it before he could ask. He gave her one of those crooked smiles, and she quickly dropped her gaze. An extra pastry quietly appeared on her plate, and she glanced up at him in surprise, only to see him turning back to Cassandra next to him.</p><p>As the advisors were rising from the table, he leaned in to her. "Can we talk later, please?"</p><p>"Sure." She held down the bubble of panic and forced a smile.</p><p>Varric sidled up, looking at Cullen's back as he exited. "You two were about to act like a proper couple, and now you're even worse than before. What gives?"</p><p>Eira let her shoulders slump briefly. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't tell him what was going on, thanks to the non-disclosure agreement. She still desperately wished she could talk to Dorian about all this. She didn't want to pretend with him anymore; she wished this could be real. Taking a measured breath, she tried to gather a more solid veneer of control and calm.</p><p>"It's fine, Varric. Thanks for your concern." <em>And it won't matter in a couple of days, anyway. </em></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>At least it was a lovely day once again, and she and Delphine found a secluded setting in a garden to talk business.</p><p>"I don't just want to continue what my family has been doing for the last Age. I want to see us <em>flourish.</em>" Delphine leaned forward, steely determination in her eyes. "And I'll readily admit that I want to make my own name. I want it to be held as a standard to aspire to by future generations."</p><p>"That's admirable," Eira said, a sense of connection tugging at her heart.</p><p>Delphine leaned back once again, lightly drumming her fingers on the armrests of her chair. "I must pry a little if we're going into this venture together. Will your family be a problem?"</p><p>She took a sharp breath, lips quirking wryly. "No. I haven't been in contact with them since I left as a teenager. They haven't outright disowned me because that would attract too much attention." Eira sat calmly under her scrutiny, subtly straightening her shoulders.</p><p>Finally, Delphine smiled at her, the curve of her full lips conspiratorial. "We're rather alike, aren't we?"</p><p>"You'll be the face, and I'll be the rebel behind the curtain."</p><p>She laughed, low and rich. "We should talk to Madame de Fer; she's connected at court and very familiar with fashion houses."</p><p>"I think that sounds like another brilliant idea." Hope swelled under her sternum again, bright and warm.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Lunch passed with more awkwardness, more forced cheerfulness. Eira felt emotionally drained and wondered if she could get away with hiding in their suite for the afternoon.</p><p>Cullen looked at her with a soft concern in his eyes as he shrugged back into his suit jacket. "Are you alright?"</p><p>"Yes! I'm just going to finish reading so I can get the book back to Cassandra by tomorrow."</p><p>His gaze lingered, then dropped. "I'll see you later."</p><p>She slipped out ahead of the rest of the Inquisition delegation to avoid any more probing questions. The sound of soles and heels filing in the other direction receded as she headed towards the guest wing until heels very deliberately clicked behind her.</p><p>"Miss Trevelyan," Leliana's soft voice called out, "may I have a moment?"</p><p>Eira turned towards her, butterflies forming in her belly. "Yes?"</p><p>She checked a door and poked her head in, then gestured for Eira to follow her. The nervousness in her stomach grew, but she trailed into the small sitting room anyway.</p><p>Leliana pushed the door shut with a pale hand and strolled around the room, running her fingers over the back of a chair. "It's a nice thing that you're doing for Cullen."</p><p>The abrupt statement caught her off guard; she expected the Game from the woman, given her Orlesian accent. She gave her a polite smile, tone confused. "I'm sorry?"</p><p>"He took a huge risk in posting such a thing on the Blooming Rose app. This could have ended very badly for him, no?"</p><p>Her pulse thudded in her ears. Even without the NDA, she would admit nothing to Leliana without knowing her intentions. She was regarding her with cool blue eyes, hands tucked into the pockets of her slim pants.</p><p>Silence stretched between them and Eira remained still, rooted to the floor. Eventually, the corner of Leliana's mouth twisted up. "I don't think you're here to hurt him, professionally or personally. You've done a good job considering how incredibly dense he is at these things."</p><p>Eira's shoulders relaxed incrementally. "I'm just here to help him," she said carefully.</p><p>"I believe you." Her gaze grew a little sharper. "I suppose Cullen will eventually tell us you broke up sometime after this. It's a shame, I think you're a good influence. And it's cute how he looks at your selfies sometimes during meeting breaks, when he thinks no one is looking."</p><p>A jolt ran through her, but Leliana continued before she could respond, walking back towards her. "You should talk to Cassandra. She's his closest friend, she may have advice for you."</p><p>Leliana opened the door and flashed her a soft smile. "Good luck, Lady Trevelyan."</p><p>The door clicked closed behind her. Eira remained, at a loss for words with what just happened.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>She couldn't settle down to read and her knitting frustrated her, so she wandered the palace instead. She stared vacantly at statues and even ducked briefly into the trophy room full of taxidermied animals. The halls were fairly quiet, with many guests and the court either outside or behind closed doors. It suited her fine; she wasn't in the mood for small talk right now.</p><p>A text to Dorian went unanswered. He was likely in the lab, working on some genius improbable scientific breakthrough. Still, she pouted a little inside. She didn't dare text Sera, who would likely just suggest pranks.</p><p>The Blooming Rose app had no new posts for employees, and the thought of looking for new assignments for when she returned brought a deep sense of disquiet. She didn't want to examine that feeling at all and quickly closed the app.</p><p>Finally, the afternoon crawled by, until it was close to when the Inquisition would wander back to their rooms to dress for the evening. Remembering vividly that Cullen asked to talk later, she found her thoughts circling on the way to the guest wing. She practiced her apology in her head, until she reached their hallway and saw Cassandra farther down, unlocking her own door.</p><p>"Cassandra!"</p><p>She jerked her head up almost guiltily, then smiled when she registered Eira.</p><p>"I'm almost done with your book, but I may not finish it in time," she said as she approached. "Can I get your info? Maybe we can trade books."</p><p>"I'd be delighted," she said, pushing open the door. "Come in, I have another to lend you."</p><p>Eira hovered nervously, pulling her own phone out. "How many did you pack?"</p><p>"Several." Cassandra shuffled through the stack on her nightstand and returned, holding one out.</p><p>She tucked it under her arm and opened the contacts in her phone. Cassandra recited her number, and she sent her a test text. "Can I ask you a question?"</p><p>Cassandra finished creating her contact and lifted her brown eyes to look down at her. "Is something wrong?"</p><p>"I just—" she twisted her fingers together. "Leliana said you knew Cullen better than anyone."</p><p>The disgusted noise Cassandra made surprised her. "You two should talk to each other instead of me, honestly."</p><p>Eira's eyebrows climbed higher on her forehead. "He asked you about me?"</p><p>Cassandra's eyes narrowed, and her lips thinned slightly. "Clearly you haven't had a chance to speak with him yet." Then her expression softened. "Go."</p><p>Filled with confusion and jitters in her stomach, Eira retreated to the door of their suite, bracing herself in case he was already inside. Unlocking and easing it open, she slid in, but he wasn't there.</p><p>She wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed.</p><p>Checking the time showed it was too early to change. Depositing Cassandra's book on her nightstand, she went to the window and looked out of the pane without really seeing the view. Thick, late afternoon sunlight lay heavy and golden on the greenery as the day slid towards evening. Slowly she relaxed as she thought, aimless, about this entire week and everything leading up to it.</p><p>The door unlocking startled her for a moment, and she smoothed a hand along the braid that lay over her shoulder as she glanced back. Cullen shut the door behind him, shucking his suit jacket to lie over the back of the couch, then slowly came closer.</p><p>"Hi," he said, stopping to stand nearby.</p><p>"Hi," she responded, watching him, steeling herself and readying her apology on the tip of her tongue.</p><p>He took a breath before speaking again. "I wanted to apologize for this morning." When she looked poised to interject, he held up a hand. "Please. You've been very respectful and understanding since we met. I don't think it was anything either of us <em>consciously</em> did. Still, I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable."</p><p>She wanted to burst out, but held it, sensing he wasn't finished.</p><p>Shifting to lean against the wall next to the window, his gaze wandered past the glass. "When I posted on the app, I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't looking for anything more. I thought it would be best to approach this in a professional manner." One hand rose to rub the back of his neck as his expression morphed to something tentative and unsure. "But... The time we've spent together... I—" His golden brown eyes flicked to her face, and her breath caught in her chest.</p><p>"I find myself wondering what happens, after..." his voice trailed off momentarily. "I don't want to move on, not from you."</p><p>Oh.</p><p>She remembered to breathe, and took in a shaky breath. An ember lit in her heart, fanned by his words.</p><p>"But I'm not sure — I don't want you to feel obligated or pressured. Because I hired you," he stumbled over the word <em>hired</em> and she felt an answering pang through her chest. "I tried to keep my distance out of respect and some sense of honor. I think I came across as uninterested, instead, and I'm sorry for that." He straightened and flexed his hands at his sides. "I would very much like to not pretend with you."</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>She opened her mouth and then closed it, for once struggling with words. "Cullen, I..." To her horror, his expression faltered as she tried to collect her thoughts. Careful, cautious, she let the feelings she'd been steadily holding in seep out. "Wait! Please, I'm saying yes, I want to try." Hesitantly, she reached for him.</p><p>Those strong arms came around her, and he intentionally pulled her close for the first time. She rested her cheek on his shoulder, eyelids fluttering shut as she let herself sink into the comfort of his embrace, the tentative hope curling in her chest. He smelled like green things, clean with a soft, masculine undercurrent.</p><p>She pulled back a little to look up at his face. "I liked waking up like that. I like spending time with you, too. I like <em>you</em>. I'm saying yes, soon, but not right now." He'd been so careful and guarded and was letting her in. She ached to explain everything, to not hurt him. "My work makes relationships complicated. Everyone has gotten jealous, or expected impossible things from me. So I stopped trying."</p><p>He was watching her carefully, and she soldiered on. "I don't intend on doing this forever. <em>Part</em> of why I took your assignment was because I can invest the money into my business and, hopefully, become independent. I actually have a shot at it, thanks to a deal with Delphine."</p><p>A sort of hope crossed his face. "I think I understand."</p><p>"I don't want to hurt you, even accidentally, by doing the things I need to. I understand if you change your mind and don't want to wait for me."</p><p>Very carefully, he brushed a wisp of hair back from her cheek. "I think you're worth waiting for."</p><p>A lump instantly formed in her throat, and her eyes prickled. She let out a soft laugh to cover for her surge of emotion, then rested her cheek on his shoulder again. Warm hands smoothed up and down her back, and she relaxed, the tension of the day draining out of her.</p><p>They stood like that for a while, savoring being close to one another because they chose to be, not burdened with false expectations. The light gradually dimmed outside, the sun slipping behind distant mountains.</p><p>"We should probably get ready for dinner soon," Cullen said with reluctance, leaning his cheek on her head.</p><p>Eira made an undignified noise and could feel his laugh reverberate through his chest. She disentangled herself with effort and lifted her grey eyes to look at him. His face was soft and wondering, and she smiled.</p><p>"My dress tonight matches your uniform, actually."</p><p>Dark eyebrows rose and his lip twitched. "Oh, good. I'm sure that will gain us some approval."</p><p>She slipped out of his space with reluctance and went to her wardrobe to gather some things. Cullen appeared nearby, taking the large garment bag from her and carrying it to the en suite. Amused, she followed him with her arms full, only to be crowded in the doorway.</p><p>He looked down at her with interest in his eyes, then turned sideways to let her pass, barely. She watched him through her lashes as she brushed by, then eased the door closed as he backed out.</p><p>Dumping her armload on the counter, she braced her hands on the cool marble and willed her pulse to slow.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>She re-emerged in a shush of tulle and silk taffeta, deep crimson fabric wound and curved over the sleeveless, corseted bodice to a high neck that wrapped around her throat. Long hair had been smoothed back into two braids along the sides that met a bun, and she tried not to fuss with it as she came closer to Cullen, absorbed in something on his tablet.</p><p>"The bathroom's all yours," she said softly, and he looked up. He rose from the couch and let his gaze sweep over her. It was different now, letting their attraction and feelings out in the open, and she wanted to bask in his attention.</p><p>When she turned to allow him access to her back, he laughed a little. "I was worried I was going to have to lace you in."</p><p>She joined him in his laughter. "Backing away from a challenge, Commander?"</p><p>His hand trailed up her bare spine above the line of fabric as he finished zipping her in. "Not at all."</p><p>Eira fought not to show the shiver that raced from her toes to her scalp at his touch and that soft, confident voice just behind her. Her flared skirts brushed his legs as she turned around, and his eyes dropped to her crimson lips before flicking back up.</p><p>"I won't take long," he promised, and left her.</p><p>Waiting for him, she paced the room, restless as a caged cat. She fussed with the petals of the small tulle flowers curving over one hip, checked her phone, triple checked her makeup and hair. A knock interrupted her, and she swayed closer to the door, then hesitated with her hand on the knob. "Who is it?"</p><p>"It's Josephine. I need to speak to Cullen, please," an Antivan voice said, muffled but with urgency in her tone.</p><p>She unlocked and pulled the door open, giving her an apologetic smile. "He's still getting ready, can I help?"</p><p>The ambassador gave a crisp nod. "Please let him know we need to meet briefly in the Inquisitor's quarters before dinner. As soon as possible."</p><p>"Of course, I'll give him the message."</p><p>Cullen's head poked out of the bathroom as she turned back around. "Who was that?"</p><p>"Josephine; your presence is requested as soon as possible in the Inquisitor's quarters." She caught his frown before he immediately disappeared again. Resuming her pacing, more slowly this time, she felt a rising wave of anxiety starting to buzz in her stomach. Cullen hurried back out not long after.</p><p>"Are things really that bad?" She was quick to take up his uniform brush as he settled into the jacket.</p><p>"I'll find out soon, I suppose." His jaw tensed as his fingers flew over the silver closures.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Cullen returned from the meeting and withdrew a small box and locked case tucked deep into his wardrobe, then removed his uniform jacket. He strapped on a shoulder holster over his dress shirt, efficient with the ease of someone who had likely done this far too often. A handgun was checked and secured, and Eira swallowed down ratcheting anxiety.</p><p>After donning the jacket once more, he fitted a tiny earpiece into his ear, then fixed a button mic into the folds of the sash on the front of his uniform. Reaching out, she helped him neaten the sash, rendering the mic invisible. The material of the jacket was heavy enough to hide the bulk of the weapon at his side.</p><p>He took one of her hands, his eyes shadowed. "I didn't know this would be dangerous. I never would have brought you if I had known."</p><p>Her eyebrows raised in alarm, but before she could speak, his fingers tightened. "Please promise me that if I have to leave your side, you'll find someone with the Inquisition insignia and stay close to them. You need to stay safe."</p><p>She squeezed back in reassurance. "I will."</p><p>He tested the earpiece and mic and switched off the receiver once he was satisfied. "I'm sorry, I need to stay focused tonight. I'm going to be terrible company."</p><p>"Cullen," she breathed, stroking her hand down his arm. "I know you're here working. Be the Commander and don't worry about me." He looked dubious, and she tweaked one of his buttons. "I'm a resourceful, careful woman."</p><p>"I don't doubt that. I just..."</p><p>"Trust me, and your people." She tugged his arm and he offered his left one. "Let's get dinner over with."</p><p>"Maker, please," he muttered.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Dinner was downright boring, and somehow that made Cullen even more on edge. The Inquisitor and her team never made it into the ballroom afterwards, vanishing in the vestibule amidst the courtiers and dignitaries. She stayed passive, allowing Cullen to lead her where he wanted to go, making small talk for the both of them when approached. Always on his left side, leaving his right hand to draw if he needed to.</p><p>Not long into the evening, she felt him shift beside her and smooth a hand down his sash, activating his button mic. They were alone for the moment, and he made it look like he was murmuring to her. "Understood. Nightingale, I need an agent for escort detail."</p><p>Playing along in case of any watchful eyes, she tipped her head slightly as she smiled at him, a questioning tilt to her eyebrows. Once he had turned his mic off again, he focused on her. "The Inquisitor is sending a witness to me. Keep her calm until someone comes to collect her?"</p><p>"Of course," she said, watching for this witness, and any servants to lift a drink from. Oddly, there were even fewer elves about tonight than previous nights. Unease prickled down the back of her neck.</p><p>A brown haired elf in unobtrusive clothing appeared, her eyes darting over Eira before nervously fixing on Cullen. "Commander?"</p><p>Eira smiled at her and willed a calm exterior, reaching out to offer her hand. "I'm Eira, we're here to keep you safe." She kept her voice pitched low and her body language non-threatening.</p><p>Preoccupied, Cullen gave a nod. "Someone will be here shortly to take you into protective Inquisition custody. You have my word, you'll be treated fairly."</p><p>She nodded and took Eira's hand warily, shaking it. "Thank you."</p><p>Eira's lips twisted wryly. "I'm afraid I'm terrible at playing hostess, I don't have a fresh drink to offer you."</p><p>She laughed nervously, though some of the tension in her shoulders eased a little. "It's all right. The Inquisitor kicked my dance partner out the window. It could be worse."</p><p>Giving a surprised laugh, she wondered if she'd be able to hear the whole story of this evening, later. "Do you like romance novels? I've been reading one this week..."</p><p>They chatted briefly, keeping the woman's attention while Cullen scanned the ballroom over her shoulders. A tall human man in Inquisition livery slid up to his side, dark skin reflecting the lights of the ballroom. The commander and agent exchanged a few quiet words, and the man offered the woman his arm, green eyes warm with kindness as he bowed.</p><p>The two made their exit, and Eira and Cullen were left alone again. Time dragged on and her nerves were making her jittery and tired at the same time. Cullen cursed softly to himself at one point, likely from an update in his ear. Visitors came and went, her feet were beginning to ache, and still the night continued.</p><p>Empress Celene made her entrance at the end of the ballroom and the Grand Duke stepped up onto the dais, below. Cullen growled into his mic. "The Empress will make her speech soon, what should we do?"</p><p>A moment later, he was nodding to himself. "As you command," and then began giving orders to his people to get closer to the far side of the ballroom.</p><p>"Eira," he said urgently, "Josephine is directly across the hall. Stay with her. There are extra guards on alert nearby."</p><p>His face was drawn and stony, and her heart squeezed. "Be careful," she said, and started to slip away from him.</p><p>A warm, calloused hand caught hers and squeezed, and she looked back in surprise. He nodded once, breaking his stoic Commander role for a moment to crook his lips in a private smile that didn't reach his eyes, then released her.</p><p>She made her way across the ballroom as quickly as possible without looking like she was hurrying. The ambassador greeted her, fingers stiff on the stem of the nearly empty glass she was holding. A herald's voice projected through the ballroom, and they turned to the central railing.</p><p>"My friends, we have lost much," Celene started, and Eira tuned out the no doubt reassuring speech. There was Inquisitor Mihren, carefully threading her way closer to the Empress, followed by her team. <em>What is happening?</em> She had lost sight of Cullen, and Leliana had also vanished.</p><p>"Tonight, the war dividing us must end." The Empress gave an expansive gesture to the Grand Duchess Florianne, who stepped up beside her.</p><p>"My friends, we are here to witness a historic moment. A great change is coming for all of us." Her tone was off for a victory speech. "Isn't that right, Gaspard?"</p><p>Florianne moved behind the Empress, and Eira's hands gripped the railing. <em>What —</em></p><p>Thoughts fled as Celene spasmed and tried to cry out, then she crumpled forward to the floor, sucking in a breath as her lung collapsed. A spreading dark stain grew on the back of her blue dress. Someone in the court screamed, and it spread through the room like wildfire. Florianne was speaking to a horrified Gaspard below, but Eira lost it to the roaring in her ears. The night was dissolving into chaos around her.</p><p>Mihren chased Florianne outside, and Inquisition agents pressed close to her and Josephine. She stared at where Celene fell, catching glimpses of the pool of blood on the marble through the spindles of the baluster. Medics and palace security rushed in, and her view was swiftly cut off, but she couldn't stop staring in shock.</p><p>Gunshots popped in the gardens outside and she flinched. Josephine's cool, trembling hands took her shoulders and pulled her around to face her. "Eira, breathe, everything will be alright."</p><p>Her dark, concerned eyes fixed on her and gave her something to focus on, and she remembered to take deep breaths, centering on that simple act. She patted Josephine's arms, managing a tremulous smile.</p><p>"Are <em>you</em> alright? What's going on?"</p><p>Josephine shook her head, black wisps of hair waving around her face where they'd fallen out of her artful coif. "I will be fine. The Inquisitor will handle the rest." She laced her arm through Eira's and replied to something on her own mic, helping coordinate the Inquisition's response.</p><p>They stood arm in arm while the court rapidly parted to make way for a stretcher and paramedics. Josephine kept her firmly turned away from the scene at the end of the ballroom. Palace security began blocking off the area, ushering the court away while the medics set to work.</p><p>"The Empress is gravely injured and Florianne has been... neutralized. I'm told the press is demanding answers at the gates. I must help the palace provide a united front. Will you be all right here?" Josephine was pulling together her facade of politeness and grace, though her complexion remained paler than usual.</p><p>Eira nodded. "Should I stay in the ballroom?"</p><p>"That would be best. I'm not sure if palace security will want to question you specifically, but they are ordering no movement for now."</p><p>She nodded again and Josephine left her to stare at the nobility, huddled together in clusters around the ballroom. Likely either for comfort, or making new deals in the Game, now that the power structure had been shattered.</p><p>She just wanted to go home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you to Manisha, actual genius, for helping Eira and Cullen talk about their feelings.</p><p>Thank you to Snips, international woman of mystery, for the extensive help with everything related to mics, weapons, and how to believably kill someone (in writing).  </p><p>Thank *you* for reading! Comments and kudos are loved.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eira and Cullen have conversations in the aftermath.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Discussions of PTSD ahead.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was hours before palace security allowed anyone to leave. Eira had found space on a chaise to perch and get off her heeled feet, and she sat for an indeterminate amount of time, absently rubbing her own arms to ward off the chill that had settled under her skin. Left to her own devices, she worried about the Inquisition delegation. And Cullen, always Cullen. What if he had followed the Inquisitor and her team to the garden and gotten injured? What if there had been more attackers than just the grand duchess? She couldn't lose him before she even had a chance with him.</p>
<p>The medics ushered out the stretcher, any view blocked by security holding up black barricade sheets. Was the Empress really dead, then?</p>
<p>She found Delphine at some point. The lady was subdued but gracious, all steel and silk, steady under pressure. Her presence was comforting and she kept those around her distracted with small talk.</p>
<p>At some point, harried palace staff and servants began passing out water to the confined guests. Some self-important courtiers took it upon themselves to whine and scold, squawking obnoxiously. Eira inserted herself between a placating staff person and an irate noble.</p>
<p>"Serah, I realize this is a trying time for us all, but there is no need to take it out on them. Please take your water and have a seat." Chin slightly lifted, grey eyes cool and the barest suggestion of a polite smile on her face — her parents would likely have been proud.</p>
<p>The nobleman's eyes narrowed a fraction, but he snatched up his bottle and flounced away. She gave a genuine if tired smile to the staff person, who returned it and offered another bottle of water. Eira stayed, helping keep the court in line and passing out water to any who approached.</p>
<p>It kept her occupied, thoughts kept from circling in knots of worry, until suddenly the next hand reaching for her was Cullen's, fingers circling her wrist. Her head jerked up and she looked up into his exhausted eyes.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry for leaving you for so long —"</p>
<p>"It's fine, are you okay?" Relief flooded through her, leaving her light-headed in the aftermath. She suddenly, desperately wanted to check him herself, her cold hands burning with the need to touch him and reassure herself. She set the water bottle down and reached for his other hand, twisting their fingers together.</p>
<p>"I'm fine." His thumb feathered over her wrist as she scanned him from head to toe anyway. She noted he'd partially undone his jacket and looked rumpled, but had no visible signs of physical injury. "Security is allowing people to go to their rooms. My team has done all they can for now."</p>
<p>"Oh. Good. Okay," she glanced back to the staff, who shook their heads and waved her away. Cullen moved around, still keeping her on his unarmed side, and ushered her along behind other exiting courtiers.</p>
<p>As they left the crowd behind, he let go of her hand to unfasten his jacket the rest of the way, throwing it over her shoulders. His weapon harness was stark against the crisp white of his shirt underneath. "Your hands are freezing. Are you sure you're okay?"</p>
<p>"Yes," she managed, suddenly enveloped in his residual heat and faded woodsy scent, but now on top of it was something acrid, metallic, burnt. It stank of violence, and she pressed a hand to her mouth.</p>
<p>"Eira?" He'd stopped and turned towards her, concern heavy in his voice.</p>
<p>"Please, let's just get to our room."</p>
<p>She wavered inside their suite as Cullen locked the door behind them, sliding his jacket from her shoulders as soon as she could. Their light flirting from the beginning of the evening seemed like forever ago. When he approached her again, she shied away.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," she rushed to explain, fingers twisting together in front of her. "You just smell like..."</p>
<p>She couldn't look up into his face right now, but she could see him pick up his jacket, slowly. "I... I see. I understand, I'll take a shower. Are you okay to use the bathroom first, or...?"</p>
<p>Her thoughts were coming sluggishly, like sinking into fog. "Yes." She took a step towards the en suite, only to be stopped by Cullen's gentle hand on her arm.</p>
<p>"Your dress?"</p>
<p>"Oh. Yes, please." She waited as he unhooked and eased the zipper down far enough for her to reach. His hand stayed on her back, steadying. Focusing on that point of contact, she took a deep breath in and let it ground her. "Thanks."</p>
<p>"You’re welcome." His hand dropped, and she continued to the bathroom.</p>
<p>She went through her routine mechanically. Exhaustion made her feel like her bones had lead in them, while lingering shock made her tremble. Belting her robe, she returned to the main room and hesitated. Cullen had started a fire in the fireplace while she was occupied, warming the room and casting a comforting glow.</p>
<p>He approached carefully, and she offered him a wobbly smile. "All yours."</p>
<p>He remained there a few moments longer, as if assessing her, then ran his hand down her arm as he passed by.</p>
<p>Blessedly, he didn't take long. Eira had settled on the couch, staring into the flames — she had a feeling she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, and hadn't even bothered getting into bed. She had liberated the blanket Cullen originally slept with on the couch, and was now wrapped in it, still unable to get completely warm.</p>
<p>Cullen eased down on the couch next to her. They sat in silence, save for the hissing and popping of the logs in the fire. Finally, she broke the quiet, her voice raw.</p>
<p>"I've never been that close to someone dying before." She laughed, harsh and humorless. "It's probably silly, right? I'm overreacting."</p>
<p>"No," he said softly.</p>
<p>Her breath shuddered out in a long sigh, and his arm curved around her, pulling her close to his side. She tucked her face into his shoulder, his scent clean and himself once again. Comforting, along with his solid strength and protecting presence.</p>
<p>"I should have warned you," his voice was low and full of self-reproach.</p>
<p>"Did you really know what was going to happen?"</p>
<p>"Not exactly. But—"</p>
<p>"Then don't beat yourself up over what-ifs." She tangled her fingers in the front of his t-shirt. "Are you truly okay? I've been so focused on me, I'm sorry."</p>
<p>"It's understandable; there's no need to be sorry. I've... been around violence. Too much. For too long." He let out his own sigh, breath stirring her hair. His silence stretched, then he spoke again, more quietly, his voice a rumble in her ears. "Sometimes afterwards it's hard to remember why it's worth doing what I do. The Empress didn't deserve to be assassinated. Innocents don't deserve to be traumatized."</p>
<p>She floundered with what to say, wanting to offer him comfort that wouldn't just be platitudes. "I think... at least with what the Inquisition is doing, what you're doing now... you're all trying to do good, Cullen. Nothing will ever be done perfectly, with only positive outcomes." The fire crackled, and she shifted to lay her cheek on his upper chest, tucking herself into his side. "The Inquisitor had a reason for the decision she made."</p>
<p>"I've blindly followed orders before. People died for no reason. My superior fed my prejudices to further her goals." Frustrated, he ran a hand over his face, up into his hair. "I'm trying so hard to atone for my past. I can't do that again."</p>
<p>Wordlessly, she soothed her hand over his chest.</p>
<p>"I joined the military in Ferelden because I believed it was how I could do the most good with my life. I wanted to help people. I showed promise, and the local captain let me start training at thirteen. At eighteen, I was stationed at the Kinloch base. They—"</p>
<p>She could feel his breathing hitch.</p>
<p>"I'd barely been there a year when insurgents took over. They killed almost everyone. I was tortured. They tried to break my mind, and I—" he let out a harsh sound. "How can you be the same person after that?"</p>
<p>"Cullen," she whispered, horrified for the young man he had been.</p>
<p>"Still, I wanted to serve. They sent me to <em>Kirkwall.</em> I trusted my knight-commander, and for what? Her fear ended in madness. I was so angry when I arrived — she saw it and used it. And I let her." He swallowed harshly. "I was her second in command, and we did terrible things in the name of keeping order."</p>
<p>Her pulse thudded in her ears, and his heart thumped under her hand. "What happened, in the end?"</p>
<p>"I helped bring her to justice. She was court martialed, dishonorably discharged, and sent to life in a military prison. Cassandra came to recruit me for the Inquisition after nearly three years of trying to command the base. I'd wanted to leave, to get away from that life, so I followed her." He leaned his head back against the top of the couch to stare at the firelight flickering along the gold filigree on the ceiling. "I was never officially punished for my role in anything. I've tried to atone in my own way... I just don't know if it will ever be enough."</p>
<p>Eira pushed herself upright to look at his profile. "Do you think that your nightmares and PTSD are your punishment, somehow?"</p>
<p>His silence answered for him.</p>
<p>"<em>Cullen,</em>" she breathed out, traitorous tears pricking at her eyes. This wasn't about her. "No one deserves to be traumatized for the rest of their life."</p>
<p>Huffing out a humorless laugh, he tightened his arm around her a little. "My therapist would like you, I think."</p>
<p>"I'm glad you're getting help."</p>
<p>Finally, he rolled his head to the side to look at her, his own eyes shadowed but glinting in the firelight. "I'm sorry for telling you all this, but you should know. I'd understand, if..."</p>
<p>Ever so gently, she laid her fingertips over his mouth. "No. I told you, I like people who choose kindness and compassion. You're learning and growing from past mistakes. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not perfect, either." His lips twitched under her fingers and she moved them to stroke his stubbled cheek. She didn't miss how he moved his head to follow her hand, chasing her touch. Softness curled around her heart.</p>
<p>"I don't believe that."</p>
<p>"Ah, is it my turn to tell secrets, then?" she tried at humor, gratified by the slight lift of his lips. Feeling warmer, she let the blanket puddle around her waist as she turned sideways to face him fully, her legs tucked up. "I left home at sixteen. My family is very traditional. You know I have an older sister and brother, and since I was neither the heir nor spare, the Trevelyan tradition is to send the extras off to serve the Chantry." Her gaze lowered and she fiddled with the sash of her robe. "I don't have a problem with other people's private faith, but the Chantry... I couldn't take vows for them. I bounced around the Free Marches for some time — I was in Kirkwall for a few years, actually."</p>
<p>"I'm glad we never met there. I'm not proud of the man I was."</p>
<p>His hand was smoothing up and down her back, over her robe, and she let out a sigh. "Turns out, being nobility doesn't really teach you how to survive when you have almost nothing. My lessons on etiquette and how to converse with people helped, surprisingly. I learned ways to keep myself fed and have a safe place to sleep. Eventually someone tipped me off to the Blooming Rose app. I can choose which assignments I take and there's some safeguards in place." Looking up, she met his eyes. "I refuse to be shamed or pitied for things I did for my freedom and survival. I couldn't live the life they chose for me, and I don't regret it."</p>
<p>"We're both survivors." Cullen reached for her hands, covering them with his one large hand and giving a gentle squeeze. "I take it you're not in contact at all?"</p>
<p>"No." Turning her hands in his, she took his hand and let her fingers explore the calluses and ridges, tiny scars and imperfections. "I pick my own family."</p>
<p>They sat, wrapped in silence and flickering firelight. She felt more at peace now, despite the vulnerabilities and pain they'd just laid out for each other. This moment was lovely, <em>he</em> was lovely, and despite everything that happened that night, she wanted this to last, their private bubble of quiet and sharing.</p>
<p>Her stomach growled quietly, and she clapped a hand over her abdomen in embarrassment. Cullen let out a laugh, smiling at her. The tension had been broken and she felt like she needed to celebrate being alive, in contrast to the long, dark night.</p>
<p>"I'm actually a little hungry, too. How do you feel about pizza?"</p>
<p>"Love it, but how are we going to get pizza at whatever awful hour it is?"</p>
<p>"Mm. We can't exactly go anywhere, but someone should deliver if we offer them enough money."</p>
<p>Eira laughed in delight. "Yes hello, could you please deliver a pizza to the Winter Palace? Please ignore all the security and paparazzi."</p>
<p>"Sounds like a good abuse of my Inquisition security clearance," Cullen snorted softly as he scrolled through his phone. "What toppings do you like?"</p>
<p>"No anchovies, please. And avoid anything that's Orlais style." He glanced up at her with brows raised in question. "Their flavor combinations can be odd. Did you not try any of the little cakes? The ones topped with gold dust are the 'exquisite misery,' it's deep mushroom and anise."</p>
<p>A full body shudder followed her explanation and she dissolved into giggles. "You strike me as a supreme pizza type."</p>
<p>"Too many toppings," he admitted.</p>
<p>She mock-gasped. "Is the Commander a picky eater?"</p>
<p>"No, just... cautious about trying new things. Pepperoni and green peppers?"</p>
<p>Humming in agreement, she drummed her fingers on her legs idly as he finished their order, then raised his phone to his ear.</p>
<p>"Jim, you're on gate duty right now? Good, when a pizza shows up for me please bring it to my suite." There was a pause, then he half-sighed, half-growled to himself as he ended the call. "Yes, I'm serious," he muttered sheepishly as an aside and looked at her again. "They actually had a tip section at checkout. We shouldn't have a problem with it getting here."</p>
<p>"Did you get me any dessert?" she teased.</p>
<p>His whiskey colored gaze dipped down briefly, and a thrill ran up her spine. "Maybe I can get Jim to detour to the kitchens."</p>
<p>"Have him liberate a bottle of wine, too."</p>
<p>They smiled at each other, and her hands crept towards his again, until their fingers were laced together.</p>
<p>"Do you mind talking about your family at all?"</p>
<p>"My elder sister Catrin is the heir, and my brother Jac is the middle child. I'm sure you experienced the same kind of sibling dynamics with yours." The scarred side of Cullen's mouth twitched up. "Trevelyan has always been known for our horses, and we used to fight over who got first pick of new generations when we outgrew our mounts."</p>
<p>Trading stories about their families came naturally, until they were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. Cullen went to answer and Eira took the chance to add a couple of logs to the low-burning fire. She dusted off her hands just as he was setting a pizza box down on the coffee table. The set of his shoulders was more relaxed, eyes tired but alert as he passed her napkins and a bottle of water, and they returned to their spots on the couch.</p>
<p>"No extra treats tonight, I'm afraid."</p>
<p>"It's fine," she said with an easy shrug, licking a bit of sauce off her thumb after she picked up a slice. "There's no one else who will play chess with you like your siblings?"</p>
<p>"Leliana will, but she cheats. I can never catch her, but I know she does."</p>
<p>"Would you be interested in teaching me?"</p>
<p>He paused in his eating, hastily swallowing a bite. "You're sure?"</p>
<p>"Why wouldn't I be?"</p>
<p>"People usually dismiss it as boring and old fashioned."</p>
<p>"I won't know until I try, will I?"</p>
<p>He gave her a soft smile, and they ate in companionable silence until he reached for another slice. "You mentioned something about a deal with Delphine?"</p>
<p>She explained Delphine's idea for a business venture and her role in it, her hands waving more animatedly as she became excited.</p>
<p>"She's hoping to approach Vivienne about it as well. The chance to work with such brilliant people makes me so happy. And the opportunity!"</p>
<p>Cullen's gaze was fond. "I'm happy for you. Ah—" he reached for her. "You have a little, there." His thumb brushed the corner of her mouth, wiping away a smudge. Her breath caught in her chest and she froze as he hesitated, then his thumb continued, swiping over her lower lip as if testing the plushness of it.</p>
<p>His eyes seared into her and she found it difficult to draw in another breath past the tightness in her chest. She wanted to kiss him more than anything, to close that distance between them. But that damnably rational part of her said to wait, that she could hurt him. Would he think she was leading him on?</p>
<p>Reaching up, she covered his hand with hers, cradling her cheek in his palm, nuzzling into it. "Cullen, I—"</p>
<p>"I know," he said, leaning in to her and resting their foreheads together. She stilled. It would be so easy to tilt her head in. Longing ached in her chest, but she held back.</p>
<p>She followed him as he shifted to recline on the couch, curling into him with her head on his chest. One of his hands began to trail over her upper arm, and she could hear the rumble of his voice under her ear. "Tell me about Ostwick?"</p>
<p>"I still miss the sea, sometimes..."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>A chime woke her up too soon. They'd fallen asleep on the couch at some point, tangled together in the too-small, too-short space. Cullen became alert more quickly and fumbled for his phone, turning off the alarm and squinting at the screen.</p>
<p>Eira pressed her face back into his chest with a groan. "Can today be cancelled? I hate not getting enough sleep."</p>
<p>He grunted an assent. "I'll see if we can skip breakfast, at least. There wasn't much planned for the Inquisition today." Typing something, he cleared his throat. "Can we, ah, at least move to the bed though?"</p>
<p>Struggling upright without jabbing him was difficult, but she managed it, as wrapped in her open robe as she was. She tried to smooth her hair back into her braid with a yawn and a stretch. When her eyes opened, Cullen was staring at her pajama-clad body over his phone, that charming blush spreading over his cheeks.</p>
<p>She froze with her hands still raised, hesitating for a beat. A thrill ran through her at his open stare, and she gave him a wink and a sleepy smile. "Take a picture, it'll last longer."</p>
<p>His throat bobbed. "Are you serious?"</p>
<p>"For you, very."</p>
<p>She stayed arched as she was while he raised up his phone, carefully snapping a photo of her in her silk camisole and shorts. The blush had deepened and spread back to his ears, but he was giving her that private smile that formed butterflies in her stomach.</p>
<p>"Besides, you need new material to sneak peeks at during meetings."</p>
<p>He sputtered. "I—"</p>
<p>Easing off the couch, she grinned down at him. "Hear anything back about your agenda for today?"</p>
<p>"Ah," his eyes flitted back to his phone. "We'll meet in the late morning, and then it seems I have the rest of the day free. Barring any new emergencies."</p>
<p>"Good," she chirped, and sashayed to the en suite, leaving him still red faced.</p>
<p>She was already yawning again by the time they were both tucked into the giant bed to catch a couple more hours of sleep. There was no pillow wall this time, and Cullen turned his head towards her.</p>
<p>"Would you like to spend some time together, after my meeting?"</p>
<p>Her lips curled up, sleepy and soft. "Yes, I'd like that."</p>
<p>"Good," she heard him say as her eyelids fluttered shut.</p>
<p>When Cullen's alarm woke her next, his arm lifted from her to reach for his phone, and she missed it immediately. Actually <em>sleeping</em> with someone was a novelty. She'd thought it would feel more odd, but being close to him was quickly becoming her favorite place. He was safe and solid, kind and thoughtful, gentle and respectful. Being able to lavish affection on someone she cared for, who reciprocated in his own way... She'd never felt anything like it.</p>
<p>She wiggled back into the curve of his body. "Five more minutes?"</p>
<p>He gave a sleepy chuckle and carefully slipped his arm back around her. "Only five for me. You can sleep a little more while I'm gone. I'll see if anyone's around to bring some tea."</p>
<p>With a murmur of approval, she relaxed into a half-doze, only protesting a little when he finally extricated himself to go get ready for the day. She set her own alarm and sprawled into the warm spot left by his vacancy.</p>
<p>When he made to leave, finishing the knot on his tie, she crooked a finger at him to come closer. She rose up on her knees to fix his suit, sweeping her hands over his shoulders, then neatening his lapels and finishing with a nudge to his tie.</p>
<p>"All better," she smiled up at him.</p>
<p>"Up to your standards now?"</p>
<p>"The Commander has to look his best, right?"</p>
<p>"Maker forbid I show up rumpled. Leliana and Josephine would whisper at each other and there'd be no end to the teasing."</p>
<p>Eira instantly perked up, and he took a step back, smirking. "I'll be back." He locked the door behind him, and she settled back into bed, considering her options.</p>
<p>Deciding to use the extra time to relax in the bath, she luxuriated until the water cooled and her fingers pruned. She had just finished drying her hair and was twisting it back when she heard a knock at their door. Tightly belting her robe, she approached and called out. "Who is it?"</p>
<p>"Tea delivery, my lady," a soft voice replied, and she cracked the door open to a hesitant looking servant, carrying a covered cup on a tray. "Compliments of the Commander."</p>
<p>"That darling man. Thank you!" She took the cup with a bright smile, slipping some silvers onto the tray, and closed the door as they turned to leave.</p>
<p>Sinking into the couch, she removed the lid and inhaled the steam rising from the milky drink. It smelled so familiar. A sip confirmed her suspicions and pleasure curled up in her chest. It was a Denerim Fog, a perfect balance of creamy and just sweet enough, the floral tea, bergamot, and vanilla lingering on her tongue.</p>
<p><em>Another thing he remembered.</em> She relaxed into the cushions and slowly drank, losing track of time as she enjoyed and let her thoughts drift to the sweet, handsome man.</p>
<p>Cullen returned as she was still nursing the last of her cup, leaning over the back of the couch to peer down at her. She craned her head back and her lips stretched in a wide smile. "Can you have this delivered to me every day?"</p>
<p>He chuckled. "I'll see what I can do." His gaze wandered, and he raised an eyebrow at her robe. "I'm free for the rest of the day. Do you still want to go have a, ah, date day?"</p>
<p>She stretched out her legs. "Absolutely, just let me go get dressed."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>They discovered the palace offered tours of the art and architecture of the Winter Palace, and joined a small group of dignitaries and others visiting from outside the court. The docent guided them through galleries, halls, and an alarming number of side rooms, explaining historical significance and other facts in a thick Orlesian accent.</p>
<p>He must have had a particular fondness for one depiction of a past general, waxing poetic about his grand victories. A flush stained his pale cheeks, and his normally reserved hands unclasped to punctuate his words.</p>
<p>Cullen leaned in to Eira, his breath stirring her hair as he whispered for her ears only. "I've studied this general's battlefield tactics. He's grossly overstating his genius."</p>
<p>She lifted a hand to cover her broad smile and whisper back. "Is that so, Commander?"</p>
<p>"I think he has a bit of a crush."</p>
<p>She turned her face into his shoulder, glad they were in the back of the group and no one could see her struggling not to laugh out loud.</p>
<p>In one room that appeared to be a study of some kind, she noticed a chessboard set up on a table by the window. With a soft touch to Cullen's arm for his attention, she subtly directed his gaze to the set.</p>
<p>"Do you think we can hang back and stay here? You could teach me how to play."</p>
<p>"I wouldn't mind," he whispered, and they stayed behind, shutting the door behind the group after the rest exited.</p>
<p>"I hope that wasn't too boring." He approached the table, eyeing the orderly board.</p>
<p>She sat, smoothing her comfortable wool skirt out. "No, it was interesting. Particularly when our guide started talking about the Ferelden occupation and was trying not to look at you."</p>
<p>Cullen snorted and joined her, carefully turning the board around so the black pieces were on his side. "White plays first," he started, then began pointing out all the pieces, how each could move, and the goal of the game.</p>
<p>He coached her through her first moves, explaining basic strategy with patience. She tried valiantly to retain it all, preoccupied with watching his deft fingers move around the board, his posture relaxed and open. The tension of the past week still clung to him but had loosened its hold. She was glad to see it and hoped when they returned that he wouldn't immediately go back to bad habits. Leaving also meant going back to her life before, and she was ignoring the feeling of dread that sometimes rose in her stomach.</p>
<p>Cullen moved a knight forward, the carved wood clicking softly. "Do you mind if I ask a question about your work?"</p>
<p>A quiet jolt ran through her. "What about it?"</p>
<p>He leaned back, his expression becoming openly apprehensive. "Why that... field?" His hand crept up to his neck and he ducked his head a little. "It's just..." he faltered and trailed off.</p>
<p>"Not exactly something good noblewomen do?" she finished for him, dryly.</p>
<p>"No, I mean yes, but—" he made a frustrated noise. "I'm curious, and I want to know more about you. I don't mean to say anything rude."</p>
<p>She abandoned any pretense of concentrating on their game, propping her chin in her hand. "Flirting and interacting with people always came naturally to me. And I like sex." She didn't dare look up at his face, instead focusing on lining the captured pieces up neatly. "There's something about some clients; it's not the sex that's intimate, it's that some of them are trusting me to treat them without judgement. I always want to leave them better than when we started, whatever 'better' may be."</p>
<p>Her face settled into more serious lines. "It's dangerous, though. I'm a careful risk taker, and I'm not afraid to walk away from something that doesn't feel right. My instincts haven't failed me yet."</p>
<p>"I'm glad you've stayed safe," he said in a quiet voice. She flicked her gaze up to his face, and he was regarding her solemnly, his own hands folded on the table.</p>
<p>"I don't want to do this forever. Honestly, it's good money, but my perfumes are <em>my</em> hustle, my creativity." Her eyes dropped. "I want happiness, freedom, and security in my life."</p>
<p>One of his hands reached carefully across the table, twining their fingers together. Her eyes lifted again to take in his expression, visually tracing the lines of his face that had become so dear.</p>
<p>"What do you want in your life?"</p>
<p>He stroked his thumb over hers thoughtfully. "The same, really. I'm not sure what I'll do once our overall mission is over. I don't know if the Inquisitor plans to disband, or take up a new goal." A sigh gusted out of him. "I'll see it through, but I don't want to be in this kind of life forever. Even if I'm doing good with the Inquisition, it's still violent at times." The corner of his lip twitched up in a rueful smile, and he gave her fingers a light squeeze. "I'm not sure what I would even do. I never had a backup plan for my life."</p>
<p>She returned the squeeze. "You'll figure it out."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>They spent the rest of the day in each others' quiet company, talking and wandering the palace. With some coaxing, Cullen found the door to the grand library that the Inquisitor had unlocked and they walked the vast hall, pointing out titles and smothering laughter to avoid attracting security. They ate the rest of their cold pizza, and Eira tried to show him how to knit some basic garter stitch. His brows furrowed in concentration and a mild bit of frustration, but he managed a fairly even row of stitches.</p>
<p>"Better than my first attempt at chess," Eira noted.</p>
<p>"You'll get better the more we play," he said absently, and she felt a smile curling her lips as she watched him, tenderness setting up home in her heart.</p>
<p>Eventually the daylight dwindled into evening and he retreated to get ready first, leaving her curled up on the couch with her phone.</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: Is Sol ready for his mama to come home tomorrow?</p>
  <p>Dorian: Very. I don't let him snuggle as much.</p>
  <p>Dorian: By the way, you're almost out of lint rollers. Couldn't you get a cat that clashes less with my clothing?</p>
  <p>Eira: No.</p>
</blockquote><p>She was still smiling from the exchange when Cullen padded back into view, finishing up the buttons on his dress shirt. Her gaze didn't make it to his face, lingering at the peek of chest left by the undone vee. He cleared his throat and her eyes flicked up, maintaining a perfectly innocent expression.</p>
<p>"Your turn in the bathroom." His ears were turning pink again.</p>
<p>Dismay and guilt made her stomach drop. "Cullen, if I made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. I won't do it again."</p>
<p>"No, it's different coming from you." He sat to pull on his boots. "Yours is, ah, appreciation, not objectifying."</p>
<p>"That's what I was aiming for. I like it when you're relaxed."</p>
<p>"I'm afraid I'm not usually relaxed. Even Cassandra and Leliana accuse me of being a workaholic."</p>
<p>She hummed and rose from the couch. "Oh good, I have a new goal." His soft scoff followed her as she took her last garment bag down from her wardrobe and disappeared into the en suite.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cullen and Eira's last night at the Winter Palace.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eira checked her reflection, fussing with the hair that gently framed her face in a soft wave. The rest of the deep walnut-colored tresses were pulled into a loose twisted chignon at the nape of her neck. Her makeup enhanced her features, but she'd kept the overall effect less dramatic than previous nights. The dress she'd saved for last had become her surprise favorite; for once, she felt like every inch of Lady Trevelyan — but it was all <em>her,</em> not the expectations of her family.</p>
<p>Fabric draped all the way to the floor, rose gold that sparkled and shimmered like living goldstone. The skirt flowed from a wide wrap around her waist, cleverly hiding where it parted until she walked, revealing flashes of her legs. The bodice formed a strapless v-neck, offering a peek at tasteful decollete. For the crowning touch, she dabbed on her perfume of the night: honey and orange blossom, and a whiff of light amber, all over a warm, lingering cinnamon base.</p>
<p>Cullen was waiting for her when she emerged, pacing the length of the room and fidgeting with the uniform brush. A smile slowly curved his lips as his gaze wandered over her. With a soft laugh, she made a sweeping turn to allow him access to her back, her skirt flaring and glittering. She bit the inside of her lip while he gently hooked and zipped the dress closed. It was bittersweet, their last night together this way.</p>
<p>They'd promised each other a future, but it was a tentative thing, fragile. She worried, but she couldn't and wouldn't let it get in the way of her goals. She was so close to achieving independence.</p>
<p>He yielded the brush to her, and she took her time, glad to note that he'd had the uniform thoroughly cleaned. No trace of that harsh, acrid smell lingered on the heavy cloth. If she leaned in close, he would probably smell like fresh cologne, woodsy and green, something under it that was just him; but she resisted the urge, chiding herself.</p>
<p>"You know, I still haven't seen you wear anything besides suits and uniforms. Or most of a suit. And your pajamas."</p>
<p>"Are you complaining?" he asked with humor in his voice.</p>
<p>"Not particularly, it's just interesting." She came back around to his front and smoothed his sash down with a fastidious eye. "Do you even own a pair of jeans?" He had to pause to think, and she bit her lip to stop from smiling.</p>
<p>"I'm fairly certain I do, I just..." he rubbed the back of his neck.</p>
<p>"You really do need to take breaks." Her tone was soft as she drew her hand away from him. She remembered Leliana's comment when they first met at Skyhold. This week was probably the first time he'd eaten three square meals a day in... who knows how long. Based on his earlier behavior, he more than likely didn't sleep well either.</p>
<p>"I'm sure I could be persuaded."</p>
<p>"I'm sure," she murmured, and took his arm to leave.</p>
<p>A pair hovered around the door to the Inquisitor's suite — Mihren and an elven woman with curly auburn hair. Cullen hesitated, then relaxed and turned them away at a signal from Mihren.</p>
<p>"Who was that?" she couldn't resist asking, her curiosity getting the better of her.</p>
<p>"Ambassador Briala," he responded, and directed her to keep heading down the hallway, his jaw set. That was the Commander speaking, and she didn't press further. Something was going on in the background with this power shift in Orlais; whatever it was, she hoped it was for the better.</p>
<p>He nodded to the Inquisition agents stationed at the entrance to their wing, and they continued on to dinner.</p>
<p>Despite the tragedy and chaos of the past day, the atmosphere of the celebratory dinner for the end of the peace talks was undimmed. Orlesians marked solemn occasions with revels and feasts, and this was no exception; in the face of recent violence and death, the court was almost frantic with excitement.</p>
<p>Gaspard would be crowned Emperor in due time, but even now, it was clear who was in power. Mihren shared his table, showing attendees and the world that the Inquisition backed the throne.</p>
<p>A second tiny galette appeared on her plate after she'd returned her attention from the guest at her other side. She brushed her fingers down Cullen's arm in silent thanks. He wordlessly dropped his hand under the table, offering it to hold while he continued his conversation with his neighbor. She laced their fingers together and took a bite, relishing the taste of salted caramel and apple, surprised by a hint of white pepper. Her fingers tapped happily on his hand, and he gave an answering squeeze.</p>
<p>They passed by Varric and a small group of nobles in the vestibule, heading towards the garden courtyard. One man was explaining inconsistencies in his series <em>Hard in Hightown</em>, and the dwarf caught her eye. The corner of his lips twisted up for the briefest second, and he winked at the two of them before continuing on with his fanclub.</p>
<p>"Poor Varric."</p>
<p>Cullen chuckled. "He didn't know he had such a following in Orlais. I'm sure his publisher has already received a few sternly worded emails."</p>
<p>The grand ballroom had been meticulously scrubbed to remove any traces of the Empress's blood on the marble. Everything was spotless, no draperies out of place — as if nothing had happened. Her hold tightened on his arm when they had first entered, and he held steady as she took a moment, flashing him a grateful smile.</p>
<p>Vivienne approached them with warmth in her eyes, the crowd naturally parting in her presence. Silver glittered like ice on her sleek, white gown. "My dear, Lady Du Bois-Fondu spoke to me. It seems we'll be collaborating after all."</p>
<p>"I'm delighted by the opportunity, Madame de Fer. I won't let you down."</p>
<p>"Of course not, darling. Commander," she acknowledged, and continued her tour of the ballroom.</p>
<p>"I'm glad you're getting an opportunity out of all this," Cullen said as they settled at a baluster overlooking the dance floor. "At least something good happened this week."</p>
<p>She lifted her gaze from the dancers. "That's not the only good thing that happened this week."</p>
<p>His lips curved in a soft smile. "I suppose not." A hesitant look crossed his face, and he shifted closer to her. "I—"</p>
<p>A herald made an announcement, cutting him off. She shot him a sympathetic look and focused on the railing at the end of the ballroom. Emperor Gaspard addressed the gathered court, speaking from the spot where his cousin fell. Eira felt the effect was more than a little ghoulish.</p>
<p>"Lords and ladies of the court, it is done. This was not the end any of us would have chosen, but the civil war is over."</p>
<p>Her gaze wandered the room, watching reactions. Across the way, she met Delphine's eyes, tipping her head in acknowledgement. They both looked back to the new Emperor as Inquisitor Mihren stepped forward from the shadows at his side, adding a brief but rousing statement that was met with murmurs of approval from the court.</p>
<p>Gaspard finished his speech with cheers and applause from his subjects. She glanced at Cullen, who was watching the Inquisitor slip out to an unoccupied balcony.</p>
<p>"Duty calls?"</p>
<p>He turned back to her, his eyes softening. "No. I suspect Josephine will go check on the Inquisitor in a moment."</p>
<p>"Good, I like having you to myself while I can." One of his hands came to rest on the small of her back and her smile stretched wider.</p>
<p>"Oh?"</p>
<p>"Is my attention a bad thing?"</p>
<p>"Hardly. Yours is the only attention worth having."</p>
<p>His voice had dropped to a quiet murmur and the soft promise of it trailed down her spine.</p>
<p>"Can we get some air?"</p>
<p>They passed by the balcony where Mihren had retreated to, and she caught a glimpse of the Inquisitor swaying, Josephine in her arms. Happiness bubbled up in her and she averted her gaze to respect their privacy.</p>
<p>She drew in a deep breath when they stepped outside, glad for the fresher air and a modicum of distance from being observed. His hand, warm and steady, stayed on her back as they drifted along the empty balcony.</p>
<p>Stars twinkled in the night sky high above them, the heavens clear and cloudless. Mountains loomed dark on the horizon, the palace gardens lit dimly below. Eira tipped her head back to seek out the constellations outside of the light from the lanterns.</p>
<p>"Do you know your stars?"</p>
<p>"Only some," he replied, looking upwards as well. She glanced over to gaze at his profile, then raised her arm.</p>
<p>"Unfortunately I don't think Solium is out right now. But there's Judex," she pointed, the stars of the sword just barely visible.</p>
<p>"I remember that one."</p>
<p>She hummed and started to drop her hand. He shifted in front of her and took her hand gently, drawing it up to him. The breath in her lungs stalled as he watched her face, oh so carefully pressing a kiss to her knuckles.</p>
<p>"May I have this dance, my lady?"</p>
<p>He could have asked for an actual sword of mercy in that moment, and she would have moved mountains to give it to him. Looking like a prince out of a fairy tale, his blond hair was burnished darker by the low light, scarred lip crooked in a half smile, the cut of his uniform accentuating his broad shoulders. His whiskey colored eyes were soft and focused entirely on her, grip gentle to allow her to pull away if she chose.</p>
<p>"I'd love to, but I thought you didn't dance?"</p>
<p>A soft chuckle was his first answer, some relief in his expression, and he pulled her closer. "For you, I'll try." His other hand settled lightly on her waist, and she rested her free hand on his shoulder.</p>
<p>He led them in a simple box step to the faint sound of the musicians that drifted through the open doors to the ballroom. They moved carefully at first, a little hesitant, but fell into a rhythm before long. It wasn't a graceful, complicated dance to impress others. This was just Eira and Cullen, dancing together for the pleasure of it.</p>
<p>The muscles in his shoulders relaxed under her hand, and he coaxed her into a spin. Laughter escaped her, light and free, and her skirt flared as she twirled. Then he was pulling her back and she returned to him, closer than before, all but flush with him. For the second time her breath caught.</p>
<p>He was staring at her with tenderness and a hesitant sort of happiness, like he couldn't believe this was real. Before she could stop herself, she reached up and stroked her thumb over the small cleft in his chin, rasping on the stubble.</p>
<p>"Eira," he breathed, leaning down to her as if drawn there.</p>
<p><em>Damn the consequences,</em> she thought wildly, and rose up a little higher in her heels to close the distance.</p>
<p>Their lips met, soft and unsure. She cupped his jaw and tilted her head, and his mouth slanted more firmly over hers, his hand flexing in her grip. His other hand slid around her waist, splaying over her back and keeping her pressed to him.</p>
<p>She kissed him as a promise, a vow sealed with the caress of her lips. Hope and joy fluttered in her chest, and her pulse thundered in her ears. This felt so right, the solid line of them molded together, her softness against his muscle. His hand loosened in hers to reach for her, skimming his fingertips over her throat to curl there, gently, his thumb brushing her jaw, like she was something precious.</p>
<p>They broke apart and he leaned his forehead against hers as they caught their breath. She felt light-headed and giddy, the entire world around them indistinct, her focus on the man before her.</p>
<p>"Was that alright?"</p>
<p>A breathless laugh burst out of her. She tangled the fingers of both hands in his hair and pulled him back to her. He groaned softly and the sound lanced through her, white hot.</p>
<p>When they parted again his hair was mussed and he looked as flushed as she felt. The distant, rational part of her brain was pleased to note that her lip stain hadn't transferred to him. She tried to smooth his hair back into some semblance of order with a stifled giggle.</p>
<p>He chuckled, settling his hands on her waist. "I guess the answer is 'yes.'"</p>
<p>Abandoning his hair, she draped her arms over his shoulders. "Very." She hesitated, holding her breath, then let it rush out. "Cullen—"</p>
<p>"I know," he said, his expression wistful. He ran his hand lightly up and down her back, over dress and bare skin, encouraging her to sway with him in a lazy dance.</p>
<p>She rested her cheek on his shoulder, her heart rate returning to normal as they moved in a slow circle together. It was comfortable, easy. She floated on a cloud, effervescent with affection given and returned. They stayed out on the balcony for some time, lingering in this bubble of time, their last night at the Winter Palace.</p>
<p>Eventually, he pressed a kiss to her temple. "We should make an appearance before we leave for the night."</p>
<p>She made a noise of agreement. Before she could fully disentangle herself, he smoothed his hands down her bare arms, his eyebrows raising in surprise. "Your arms are cold, why didn't you say something?"</p>
<p>"I barely noticed, honestly."</p>
<p>He reached up to begin unfastening his jacket, and she shook her head. "Let's just go back inside. I promise I'll be fine."</p>
<p>Still, he curved an arm around her as they stepped back into the ballroom. They were immediately met with stares; Leliana and Cassandra had set up on a chaise closest to the balcony doors. Eira wasn't sure if they were there to eavesdrop or guard, and she wasn't sure if she cared. She bit the inside of her lip, struggling to keep herself poised and neutral.</p>
<p>Cassandra eyed them with a stern look, the blush on her scarred cheeks betraying her. Leliana looked like a cat who caught the canary and her gaze lingered on Cullen's disheveled hair.</p>
<p>"Commander. Eira." Her lilting Orlesian accent was pleasant and measured, though her blue eyes glittered with held back laughter.</p>
<p>"Leliana. Cassandra," he replied, giving a curt nod to the two of them as he urged Eira down the gallery.</p>
<p>Eira twisted a little to look behind Cullen as they passed, winking. She could hear Cassandra muffle a snort of laughter, and Cullen gave a long-suffering sigh.</p>
<p>"Well, at least this was a success," she commented innocently. "They definitely believe we're together."</p>
<p>"Maker's breath."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>They made it back to their suite without any more incidents. Safely inside and alone, she trailed her hand over the back of the couch, suddenly shy and unsure. Cullen had already unfastened his jacket with a grateful sigh.</p>
<p>"I will be happy to not have to wear this thing for a while."</p>
<p>"It's very flattering on you."</p>
<p>"Ah, thank you. It's just that the collar is closer than I'm used to. I feel like the rest needs to be let out a little." He gave a soft huff as he hung the jacket in his wardrobe. "Too much desk work lately."</p>
<p>She scoffed and toed off her heels, and he raised an eyebrow at her in question.</p>
<p>"Do you want to know what was going through my head earlier?"</p>
<p>He nodded and she started prowling towards him, quiet on her bare feet except for the drag of her sparkling dress on the floor. She noticed his eyes roaming over her as she moved; his attention curled inside her, warm and welcome.</p>
<p>"That you looked like a prince out of a dream." She kept her voice soft, linking her hands together behind her back. She was toeing the line she'd drawn, but it felt so thrilling and <em>good</em> to flirt with him. Swaying to a stop outside of his reach, her lips curled in a smile. "A handsome, kind prince come to sweep me off my feet."</p>
<p>He had half-smile of his own on his lips, his eyes tender but serious. "Is that what you want? A prince?"</p>
<p>"No." Something flickered in his expression, and she dug her nails into the meat of her palms. "I want <em>you</em>."</p>
<p>A soft inhale, and then he stepped into her space. She tipped her head back to look at him; this close and without her heels, his height wasn't intimidating, but she felt more delicate next to his broad, muscled form. A shiver ran down her spine.</p>
<p>Cullen bent over her, and a faint frown marred his face. "You seem to be shorter," he murmured, breath tickling her lips.</p>
<p>"No heels," she laughed softly.</p>
<p>"Ah." And then his hand cradled the back of her skull to support her, and their lips met in a tender kiss.</p>
<p>She unclenched her hands and raised them up to clasp his arms, steadying herself as she melted against him. In private, kissing for the second time, he was more sure of himself, his movements confident. A fuzzy sense of <em>want</em> and <em>more</em> sparked in her. She held on to her control with white knuckles, letting him dictate the pace and following his lead. His other hand dropped to her waist, anchoring him.</p>
<p>As their kiss grew more heated, she welcomed the tentative touch of his tongue to her lips. His fingers tangled in her hair, ruining the artful coil of her chignon and she didn't care at all, her hands dropping from his arms to run over his sides, exploring the feel of him through the shirt he was still wearing. What she wanted to do was untuck his shirt and slide her hands under it to touch his skin, feel those muscles she knew were hidden from her.</p>
<p>When he pulled away slightly, she chased his lips for a moment, only to draw in a sharp breath as he nudged her head to the side, scarred lips kissing down her jaw, mouthing at her throat. His stubble scratched in counterpoint to his soft lips, and his hot breath fanned over her bare shoulder. She fisted her hands in his shirt.</p>
<p>"Cullen," she breathed, and the fingers at her waist dug in slightly before relaxing.</p>
<p>He pressed a lingering kiss to her neck and let his hand skim down her arm to her waist, bracketing her with his big hands. "We're not making this very easy for ourselves, are we?" His voice was rough and rueful and his breath on her neck made her shiver.</p>
<p>Her heart sank by degrees, realization settling cold in her. The affection, the kissing — she'd told him that whatever this was between them had to wait. Yet here she was, encouraging him. She didn't want either of their hearts broken.</p>
<p>"Cullen," she whispered as she drew back from him, forcing the scrabbling feeling under her sternum down. She felt cool away from his body heat, matching the coldness creeping inside her. "We should... stop." Her fingers twisted over themselves in front of her briefly before she forced her hands to her sides.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry if I—"</p>
<p>She couldn't look at his face, but she heard the hurt he was trying to conceal. <em>Void take it. </em>The walls were coming back up around the both of them, cutting each other off, and she quickly interjected. "I don't want to cross a line." <em>I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to </em>be<em> hurt. </em>"I want... I <em>need</em> this to be real."</p>
<p>He took a deep draw of a breath and let it shudder out in a long sigh. "I respect that." Finally, she risked looking back up at him, and he was raking his fingers through his hair, mussing his careful style. "I... I want this to be real, too." Whiskey eyes settled back on her, and one side of his lips lifted in a tiny smile. It wasn't <em>happy </em>but he wasn't upset, either.</p>
<p>That was probably the best she could ask for right now.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," she said, eyes dropping back down as she took a step back, intending to gather things from her wardrobe and change.</p>
<p>"Eira, please stop apologizing." Cullen reached back out to her, gently pulling her into a hug, his grasp light so she could rebuff him at any time.</p>
<p>With a soft sigh and a wash of relief, she wrapped her arms back around him, enveloped in kind by his strong arms. She lingered for a moment with her cheek on his upper chest, then withdrew once more. "I should change."</p>
<p>"Let me, please."</p>
<p>She held her breath when she turned and presented her back one last time, feeling the barest brush of his careful fingers as he unhooked and unzipped her dress just far enough for her to reach. "Thank you."</p>
<p>"You're welcome." His voice had warmed once more, and she hurried to her wardrobe before she could make any bad decisions.</p>
<p>She was finishing Cassandra's book when Cullen finally pulled back the covers on his side of the bed. Settling in, he rested his tablet on his knees and began to catch up on emails. She watched his profile out of the corner of her eye, noting the way his face settled into seriousness as he became absorbed in his work. Confident hands smoothed over the screen and manipulated maps and tapped out orders and she found herself entranced, her book utterly ignored.</p>
<p>Eventually, he shifted to make himself more comfortable, and noticed her watching him. "Was there something you needed?"</p>
<p><em>You,</em> she wanted to say, but only smiled instead. "Just watching you command, I suppose. I don't really get to see you at work."</p>
<p>The corner of his lip lifted. "That's probably a good thing. Almost done with your book?"</p>
<p>"Mm-hmm. I don't know if I'll be able to catch Cassandra before either of us leaves."</p>
<p>"She should be at breakfast tomorrow. I wouldn't worry about it; if you two keep in contact, she'll be happy to have someone to talk about books with. She, ah, approves of you."</p>
<p>"Oh really?"</p>
<p>A lopsided smile stretched his lips.</p>
<p>She hummed. "That's good. She seems like she could be incredibly intimidating if she didn't approve of me," she said as she wiggled down farther into the pillows.</p>
<p>A quiet chuckle answered her as he unlocked his tablet once more. "She can throw me around the sparring ring."</p>
<p>Her eyebrows rose in interest and she considered, remembering her fit but feminine build. "She must be hiding some impressive arms under those blazers."</p>
<p>Eira finished the book before Cullen wrapped up his work, and stretched languorously with a yawn. Turning off her light, she pulled the covers up. "Night, Cullen."</p>
<p>"Good night, Eira," he said softly, and she felt a feather-light touch as he tucked a bit of hair behind her ear. She smiled without opening her eyes, and cuddled further into her pillow.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Cullen woke once in the night with a mild nightmare, and he'd let her rub his back soothingly until he went back to sleep. Now as his phone alarm chimed, she found herself curled up to his back with her arm snug around his middle. He silenced it and began to shift, then stopped.</p>
<p>"Do you want to get ready first, or should I?" she asked sleepily, starting to disentangle herself.</p>
<p>He carefully cleared his throat. "Ladies first."</p>
<p>Pausing to stretch at the side of the bed, she heard him roll over and glanced back as he folded his arms under his head, one leg drawn up, the perfect picture of casual relaxation. All sleepy and masculine and handsome; she had to work not to let her eyes roam. Her pulse tripped and she forced herself to stand and leave.</p>
<p>"Good morning."</p>
<p>"Good morning," he said, watching her, lips crooking in a smile. "Maker, you're beautiful."</p>
<p>He'd said it before, but she'd been polished and primped, and now she was bare-faced, her braid mussed by sleeping. She returned his smile with fuzzy warmth blooming in her chest, eyes skating over him briefly before she left him to shower.</p>
<p>They went to breakfast hand-in-hand.</p>
<p>The delegation seemed split on being relieved to finally leave, Cassandra and Varric at the forefront of eagerness to return to Val Royeaux. Cassandra took back her book, covering for her shyness with her typical brusque manner, but she smiled at Eira when no one was looking. Eira promised to text her with a book to trade when she arrived home.</p>
<p>Varric patted her elbow and shook his head slightly. "You two will be fine," he muttered, leaving her to be swept into a hug by Josephine.</p>
<p>"Oh, do keep in touch. I'll try to stop by at your market stall. I may have to send presents back to Antiva."</p>
<p>"Good, I have an idea for Yvette in particular."</p>
<p>"Wonderful," she said, beaming, and then fluttered off.</p>
<p>She twisted around to look for Cullen, and caught the eye of Leliana, leaning close to Mihren as they conversed in hushed whispers. Two pairs of eyes focused on her and Leliana's mouth quirked, blue gaze softening. Mihren's expression shifted to something amused and she nodded in acknowledgement.</p>
<p>Cheekily, Eira dropped into a quick curtsy. That earned a spark of mirth in the Inquisitor's dark eyes.</p>
<p>Finally, she approached Vivienne, drawing on all of her childhood lessons on poise and etiquette. "Madame Vivienne," she said as she greeted her. "May I gift you with personalized perfume, once it's ready?"</p>
<p>"Darling, how thoughtful. I'd be delighted to see how you tailor it."</p>
<p>She inclined her head, pleased. "Safe travels home, Vivienne."</p>
<p>Cullen was still quietly conversing with Cassandra when she finished her goodbyes, and she waited at a distance from them, not wanting to interrupt if it was related to Inquisition business. He glanced towards her and held his hand out, the corner of his lip lifting in a soft smile.</p>
<p>She came to his side, fingers twisting with his, a gentle fondness suffusing her.</p>
<p>Cassandra glanced between the two of them. "I'm keeping you from packing and leaving, we can continue this at Skyhold."</p>
<p>He took a breath as if to argue, then squeezed Eira's hand. "Until later."</p>
<p>Eira smiled warmly at her, admiring the cut of her silk dress shirt as Cassandra shrugged into her blazer. <em>Impressive arms, indeed.</em></p>
<p>They said their goodbyes and returned to their suite, hands lingering as they parted to pack their things. Honestly, she was glad to be leaving this gilded cage and its menagerie of two-faced courtiers. It was bittersweet, though, to part from Cullen and return to their lives, with only a promise between them.</p>
<p>As they settled into Cullen's car and he plugged in the address to her dummy apartment building to return home, she gently corrected him, giving him her true address. His expression was soft and understanding as he looked at her, and he put the car into drive without comment.</p>
<p>The drive back to Val Royeaux was quiet.</p>
<p>It was too soon and yet felt like forever by the time Cullen carefully pulled up to the curb. She forced herself to unbuckle her seat belt and slide out of the car, hoisting her bag on her shoulder as he came around to lift her suitcase out of the trunk. Finally they stood on the sidewalk, hesitating, and she looked up into his face.</p>
<p>His eyebrows were drawn together, that line between them, the one she'd disliked when they had first met. He was concerned and unsure and he tucked his hands in his pockets, distancing himself again.</p>
<p>"Well," he said, just barely audible over Val Royeaux traffic. "I hope the week wasn't too terrible for you."</p>
<p>"You know it wasn't."</p>
<p>His warm brown eyes slid away from her, and she twisted her fingers together, searching for the right words.</p>
<p>"I can see all the worries circling around in that brain of yours," she said wryly, and he looked back at her in surprise. "We'll stay in touch and figure it out as we go."</p>
<p>Cullen let out a huff. "I'm afraid I'm not very good at uncertainty."</p>
<p>Reaching out, she pulled one of his hands out of his pocket and traced her fingers over his knuckles. "Then be certain about the fact that I care about you." She held his gaze as her fingers continued their soft caress. "I keep my word, and I promise that we'll make this work."</p>
<p>He shifted his hand in hers and reeled her in, enveloping her in his strong arms. Her face pressed to his shoulder and she breathed deep of his soft scent. Around them the city bustled on, but she ignored it all to focus on the man she held tight, who held her like something precious.</p>
<p>Gently, he withdrew from her. "I'm sure Sol is waiting for you." Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, Cullen gave her a half smile.</p>
<p>She already missed his touch, but she nodded and gripped the handle of her suitcase. "I'll text you later?"</p>
<p>"I'd like that." He stayed where he was on the sidewalk as he watched her disappear inside her apartment building; she knew because she glanced back before she lost sight of him.</p>
<p>Her apartment was quiet and almost drab, after being surrounded by the opulence of the Winter Palace for the last week. She scooped up a purring Sol and settled on her couch, burying her face in his fur.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Manisha gets another thank you for helping Eira and Cullen talk about their feelings.</p>
<p>I commissioned Schoute last summer when I was starting to write this, and I finally get to post the <a href="https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/826955750303727667/829487284612497438/Schoute_CullenEira_halfsize.png">art of Eira and Cullen during the balcony scene!</a> </p>
<p>Thank you, dear reader. See you next week for the final chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eira and Cullen meet again.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter has not been sensitivity read. Please be warned that we earn the explicit rating here!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A couple of days later, Dorian breezed into her apartment, setting the bags of takeout down in her kitchen before whirling on her. "I'm not sure I can wait until after dinner to see your gowns. Or maybe you can distract me with sordid gossip while we eat."</p>
<p>She pulled plates out from her cabinets, then reached for the utensil drawer. "You know I can't tell you anything."</p>
<p>"Oh, don't be a boor," he scoffed, plucking containers out of the bags. "I had to sign a non-disclosure with the Inquisition to work with them. Surely you can talk about it with me. Shan't tell a soul." He laid one beringed hand over his heart in a show of sincerity.</p>
<p>The utensils clinked against the countertop with more force than necessary. "I didn't sign the NDA with the Inquisition," she said quietly.</p>
<p>Dorian's eyebrows climbed up his forehead, elegant hands stilling. "Oh."</p>
<p>She could feel his keen eyes on her as she served herself, and she abruptly turned to take out a bottle of wine. "How do you feel about this red with dinner?" She forced lightness into her tone, keeping herself busy by bringing out two wine glasses, so she wouldn't have to meet her best friend's eyes.</p>
<p>His hand covered hers after she set the wine glasses down, forcing her to stop. "You caught feelings for him, didn't you?" Dorian's voice was quiet and gentle, and she felt her resolve crack under the weight of his empathy.</p>
<p>"I told him we had to wait," she said. "I don't want to date while I'm still an escort. You know I have good reasons for it." She leaned on the counter, staring down at their hands. After texting Cullen the day they came home, it had been quiet between them. The lack of communication was an awkward silence, and it chafed at her.</p>
<p>"I do. I remember helping to pick up the pieces of your heart afterwards." Giving her hand a squeeze, he fished out a wine opener. "Tell me what happened, and we'll work it out."</p>
<p>She loved Dorian in that moment.</p>
<p>Eira told him the whole story, from the original post to their goodbye, leaving out details about Celene's assassination and Cullen's past trauma. She explained Delphine's deal and her hopes for the partnership and the future of her career. It was a relief to talk through it all with him and get a second opinion.</p>
<p>"So the lady will be in contact when she's ready for you to draft scents based on designs?"</p>
<p>She nodded and pushed a piece of carrot around her plate with her fork. "At that point, she'll start paying me for my work."</p>
<p>Leaning back in his chair, he eyed the wine in his glass while he swirled it contemplatively. "Did she give a timeframe?"</p>
<p>"She's already been working with designers, adding me to the mix is a late addition."</p>
<p>"So it comes down to your comfort level with risk." He finished his wine and stood, heading to the kitchen. "I believe that's enough seriousness for now. Let's get you in some dresses, yes? I want to imagine how our dear Commander reacted to each one." Returning to the table, he pressed a fresh tumbler with a measure of whiskey into her hand with a soft smile.</p>
<p>She returned his smile and carefully wound her arm around him, pulling him into a hug. "Thank you, Dorian."</p>
<p>"Anything to help, my friend. Now that the sentimentality is over, let's get you naked."</p>
<p>Laughing, she took a fortifying sip of her drink, then headed to her bedroom to change.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>She was surprised how quickly Delphine contacted her again, sending her drafts of designs, with material swatches. The lady obviously wasn't one to waste her time once she put her mind to something.</p>
<p>And with the packet, of course, came her contract and a check. She held the latter in her fingers like it might disappear, gaze lingering on <em>Atelier Tanglewood </em>on the account before drifting over the digits of the amount. They'd discussed money, of course, but seeing it embossed on paper...</p>
<p>Eira had budgeted and done the math, being conservative and careful with her projected new income. Delphine understood — rare for a noble — and was paying her well for her time, knowledge, and supplies, before she even turned a profit. Before she had even had a prototype of the product in her hand.</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: I've signed the contract and I'll begin drafting scent ideas right away.</p>
  <p>Eira: Thank you for this opportunity, Delphine.</p>
  <p>Delphine: I'm so happy we met. I hope we can be friends as well as partners in business.</p>
  <p>Eira: Absolutely!</p>
</blockquote><p>After depositing the check, she stared at her bank account in the app for a giddy minute. This was <em>hers. </em>She'd worked and saved and made sacrifices, but it was of her own free will and hard work.</p>
<p>She crawled onto her bed, pressing her face to Sol's fur as he chirped sleepily.</p>
<p>And the puzzle pieces swirling in her head began to fall into place, slotting in to the framework of her plans.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Cullen: I miss you.</p>
  <p>Eira: I miss you too.</p>
</blockquote><p>She set her phone back on her coffee table with a long sigh, leaning back on her hands to gaze out her living room window. Bottles and vials were scattered across the table surface, sunlight glinting off the dark amber glass and the mess of used pipettes. Her attention kept drifting from her work, drawn to the last text from Cullen she'd received a few days ago.</p>
<p>She meant it when she said it back. She still meant it now. The feeling settled in her like a splinter under the skin, nagging and throwing her off with pricks of sentiment, distracting.</p>
<p>Eira wondered if he felt the same.</p>
<p>The <em>Atelier Tanglewood </em>marketer had worked his magic to tie in her personal store to the campaign, promoting both her custom scents for the couture release and her own blends. Increasing interest meant orders steadily ticking up, and with the regular income from <em>Atelier Tanglewood </em>she'd been able to take fewer and fewer assignments, concentrating on work for her own store and the campaign. But her heart drew her away from practical thoughts, whispering of warm eyes and warmer hands. Eyes not unlike the color of the bottles in front of her, deep golden brown in the sun.</p>
<p>Her gaze shifted from the window to the bottle separated from the others, a simple handwritten paper label marking it as <em>Cullen.</em> When they returned from the Winter Palace, it had been a month since she'd blended the cologne, and uncorking it to check the scent had brought a swift flood of emotion that squeezed around her heart and choked her throat. She'd built on the soft woodsy scent he already wore, layering complexity like the man himself. It was perfect.</p>
<p>Leaning forward and picking up the bottle, she slowly rolled it between her hands, her contact warming the glass. She wondered what it would smell like on his skin, reacting to his body chemistry. Her grip tightened and she pressed it to her chest as she took a slow breath.</p>
<p>Was she finally ready to take the leap?</p>
<p>This was as monumental as when she left home, taking nothing with her. But now, she had support, friends, and a future.</p>
<p>Eira Trevelyan didn't waver in front of a challenge. She leapt.</p>
<p>Carefully, she set the bottle on the table before her and snatched up her phone, navigating to the Blooming Rose app. Barely fifteen minutes later, she had written and sent her resignation to Administrator Lusine, deactivated her account, and deleted the app.</p>
<p>Grey eyes stared at her phone screen for a long minute, and she rolled her head back, a mix of grief and relief tangling up underneath her sternum. She barely needed to return her gaze to the screen to bring up her texts with Dorian, firing off a quick set of messages.</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: Are you busy tonight?</p>
  <p>Eira: I did it, I quit.</p>
  <p>Dorian: Took you long enough!</p>
  <p>Dorian: Come over at 7. Dress nice.</p>
</blockquote><p>A smile broke out over her face.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day, she handed off a small parcel to a courier, the packaging nondescript, a sealed envelope tucked firmly into the string wrapped around it. A second note laid on top of the first, meant to be read: <em>Hi Leliana. - Eira</em></p>
<p>She hoped the head of security wouldn't ruin her surprise by insisting on opening the package to screen it.</p>
<p>Eira hid her nerves with a flash of a bright smile to the courier as they left, then turned back as she closed her apartment door.</p>
<p>Her life was slotting into place, her hard work beginning to bloom into success. She was excited for the turn her life was taking, proud of herself, her perseverance and creativity. At each new step, she found her thoughts drifting back to Cullen.</p>
<p>Was he thinking of her too?</p>
<p>She wanted to share this with him, to share <em>his</em> life, their ups and downs and small moments. She wanted to know what it would be like to spend quiet time with him on a weekend morning, comfortable in the mundane.</p>
<p>They were both strong people, used to surviving on their own. But together, she felt they could take on the world... If he still felt the same.</p>
<p>Now, she needed a distraction.</p>
<p>Her attempts at keeping herself busy with work lasted for a couple of hours, resorting to moving her phone out of her line of sight to keep from checking it constantly. She paced her kitchen, mug of tea in hand, trying to work out some of the nervous energy that plagued her, as Sol watched her from the counter. The end of his tail flicked each time she swiveled to change directions. With a frustrated groan, she bent to rummage under her sink, pulling out cleaning supplies. If she couldn't concentrate on her work, maybe she could focus on cleaning her apartment within an inch of its life.</p>
<p>As she straightened back up, she heard a chime from the living room that sent her heart vaulting into her throat. She scrambled to retrieve her phone from the couch, tapping the screen to show the notification.</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Cullen: May I come over?</p>
</blockquote><p>Thoughts stuttered to a halt as she stared at the screen, then she glanced around her apartment wildly. She hadn't expected visitors, though her space was habitually clean, she'd let some tidiness slide in her recent moodiness. She could probably at least clean up the perfumes on her coffee table before he made it all the way over from Skyhold.</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Eira: Yes</p>
</blockquote><p>Dropping her phone back onto the couch, she began placing the vials back into their storage container. One nearly slipped out of her hand when her door buzzer startled her. She could hear Sol drop off the kitchen counter and beeline into her bedroom to hide. Shoving the box under the coffee table, she hurried the few steps to the door.</p>
<p><em>How did he get here so quickly? </em>She pressed the unlock button as nerves fizzled through her veins, hands swiping self-consciously over her hair and tugging her cardigan around her. It was too late to change, either, and it didn't take long before she could hear his footsteps hurrying down the hallway.</p>
<p>Then they paused. Her breath caught as she waited for him to knock, shifting on her bare feet. When it came, it was soft, measured, and she couldn't help but bite her lower lip on a smile. She made quick work of the chain and deadbolt, finally drawing the door open to reveal Cullen outside her door.</p>
<p>Seeing him again after the intense time they'd shared, then weeks of being apart, knocked the remaining breath from her lungs with longing. Her throat suddenly felt tight. "Hey," she said softly, stepping back to let him come inside.</p>
<p>"Hello." Cullen followed her, nervously smoothing down his tie. They were standing too far apart for her taste, but there was a thrumming tension between them. "I received your note," he started as he searched her face. "You're... no longer with the Rose?"</p>
<p>She remembered what she'd done and sucked in a breath, nerves ratcheting sky high. "Yes."</p>
<p>"Are you sure?"</p>
<p>Biting her lip, she nodded.</p>
<p>A hopeful light dawned in his eyes, but guarded. "Does that mean...?"</p>
<p>Breathlessly, a laugh escaped her lips and she nodded again, maybe a little too enthusiastically but she didn't <em>care</em>. "If you still want to."</p>
<p>He stepped closer and his arms came around her immediately, strong hands skimming her sides under her oversized cardigan to smooth up her back, pulling her tight to him. "You have no idea how much I missed you."</p>
<p>She strained up on her toes to bury her face in the crook of his neck, elation bubbling up in her, breathing in his—</p>
<p>Pulling back a little to speak, delight colored her voice. "You're wearing it!"</p>
<p>His chuckle vibrated through his chest. "Do you like it?"</p>
<p>She made a show of sniffing his neck more deeply, and he laughed again, hands spasming on her back when her own laugh caused her breath to tickle his neck.</p>
<p>"It's perfect because it's you."</p>
<p>One of his hands lifted to cup her face, thumb stroking her cheekbone. His golden brown eyes were searching hers with wonder and a little hesitation. Impulsively, she slid her hands down his shoulders to his chest, curling them between them, and asked the question at the forefront of her mind.</p>
<p>"Do you have to go back to work?"</p>
<p>She could see him wrestling with the answer and waited patiently, fighting the urge to fidget and influence his decision. Her unspoken plea remained locked in her throat: <em>please stay.</em></p>
<p>His face settled into confident lines, eyebrows lowering as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and quickly typed something, then tossed it onto the side table next to her apartment door.</p>
<p>"No."</p>
<p>His mouth pulled up in a smirk and his hands were pulling her close again. Eira had the sense to fumble for the door and lock the deadbolt before she lost that last scrap of thought and his lips were on hers, hot and insistent. Those strong hands were kneading her lower back, keeping her pressed to him; like she would want to be anywhere else. Her own hands quickly worked their way under his suit jacket, urging him to strip it off before his hands were back on her, finding the line of bare skin between her knitted crop top and matching high waisted shorts. They lingered there, smoothing and soothing in contrast to the hunger of his mouth. She began blindly walking backwards, pulling him along with her hands fisted in his neat, ironed shirt, hopelessly wrinkling it.</p>
<p>Somehow she guided him around the coffee table without stumbling and tugged on him when her calves hit the couch, falling onto the cushions with a bounce. His hand shot out to steady himself on the back of the couch and they broke apart. Eira stared up at him, wanting his hands back on her <em>now</em>, her lips already feeling swollen, pulse hammering in her throat. She had a brief flash of panic — was she pushing him too much?</p>
<p>Cullen eased himself down to sit, looking dazed himself. He reached for her, and she went eagerly, swinging her legs over his to carefully straddle his lap. She lowered her face and slotted her mouth over his, meeting in a sweet give and take that set her blood back to a simmer. Anticipation fluttered in her belly as he rested his hands on her bare knees, and she parted her lips to touch his lower lip with the tip of her tongue.</p>
<p>He groaned into her mouth and the sound lanced through her. She took her time, exploring his lips and that tantalizing scar, dipping her tongue past his lips when he started to chase after her mouth. Fingers carded through his hair, mussing his style. She wanted to see him undone, messy, control broken just for her — but she realized she didn't have to rush. There would be more of this, more of him, time enough to learn everything.</p>
<p>A happy giggle bubbled up in her throat and she pulled back a little, resting their foreheads together and settling back to perch on his knees. "Is this real now?"</p>
<p>"I believe it is." His eyes crinkled at the corners and his thumbs swept circles over her legs, inching carefully higher.</p>
<p>She worked at his tie, pulling it out of his collar with a whisper of fabric and dropping it in a pile on the couch cushion. Popping the top button of his shirt, she ducked down, lips trailing over his jaw, pressing a kiss to the delicate skin behind his ear. "Tell me how much you missed me," she whispered, resting her hands on his chest as she breathed in the cologne she'd made, intoxicating on his skin. She felt his throat bob while she nudged his shirt away with her nose and kissed his throat, each touch scorching.</p>
<p>"I missed seeing you every day," he rasped. "Your smile, your kindness, how beautiful you were no matter what."</p>
<p>Eira raised back up, meeting his eyes, captured by the emotion reflected in his gaze. It was like a tether between them, and she let it reel her in, kissing him again. It grew in intensity, and she forgot about anything but kissing him, refusing to be parted even as he eased her cardigan down her shoulders, and she impatiently pulled her hands through the sleeves so she could touch him again.</p>
<p>Eventually, he drew back a little to breathe. "Maker, every time you came out wearing a new dress, I—" his breath gusted hot over her throat, hands roving over her back.</p>
<p>"Tell me," she whispered, her pulse thrumming fast under his mouth.</p>
<p>"I wanted to unzip the dress instead and lay you back on that ridiculous bed," he cut himself off, too impatient to finish his words and driven to action instead, fingertips working their way under the band of her top. "Can I—"</p>
<p>"Yes." She helped him ease the knitted garment over her head, freeing her hair from it just in time to watch him cup her breasts, his expression wondering as they nearly overflowed his palms.</p>
<p>He lowered his head to trace his tongue over the faint blue lines of veins under her skin, then licked her rosy nipple, and she let out a soft pleased noise. His thumb brushed back and forth over the other, and soon she was squirming in his lap as he alternated. When she finally hit her mark and ground against the bulge in his trousers, he jerked with a groan. Their eyes met, heated and a little frantic, and she stroked her fingertips over his cheek.</p>
<p>"Cullen," she breathed, "take me to bed."</p>
<p>She didn't expect him to bodily lift her as he stood, arms hooking under her knees to encourage her to wrap her legs around his waist, hands gripping her ass and supporting her once he was upright. Clutching on to his shoulders with a thrill of excitement, she looked down at him as he found her bedroom easily in her small apartment. He looked confident and determined and flushed. Now she didn't have to hold back. The thought sang through her.</p>
<p>Sol fled the room a moment before Cullen laid her down on her bed, and she ridiculously thought an apology before her attention was brought back to the man pressing himself between her thighs. She tightened her grip on him with her legs and cupped his cheeks in her hands, pulling him down for another kiss. Any distance from him was unbearable.</p>
<p>He braced himself on his elbows above her, tongue delving into her mouth as her hands wedged between them, deftly undoing the row of buttons on his dress shirt. She tugged it free of his pants impatiently, needing to touch his bare skin with a fervor that surprised her. Rolling her hips upwards, she pressed herself to him with a moan trapped in her throat — there was no space for careful seduction or artistry here, just raw desire for him.</p>
<p>Wrestling out of his shirt, he lifted off her to coax her to unwind her legs from around him, slipping her knitted shorts off and tossing them to the floor. His hand slid between her thighs and she gasped softly against his mouth when those clever fingers parted her, swiftly discovering what made her moan. Cullen was a good soldier and a better lover, and he learned quickly.</p>
<p>He laid sucking kisses down her throat as she scrabbled at his belt and zipper, his own moan buried in her skin when her fingers cupped him through his boxer briefs. Impatient, she helped him free himself from his last articles of clothing, rolling them both and stretching over him to retrieve a condom from her nightstand drawer, returning to straddle his hips, and she froze as she looked down at him.</p>
<p>She finally had him naked and sprawled on her bed, and — <em>Maker</em>. She'd gotten a hazy idea, backed up by her all too brief touches through clothing, but he was gorgeous. Broad through the shoulders, muscled from the long years spent keeping himself in fighting shape, narrowing down to a waist and hips she desperately wanted her legs wrapped around. His limbs were strong; no wonder he'd been able to lift her easily. He had scars, too — testaments to his life of service, and she wanted to explore them and his body more, but right now, she <em>needed </em>him.</p>
<p>He was staring up at her with the same neediness bordering on desperation, desire evident in every line of his body. Still he hesitated, waiting for her to show him, for permission.</p>
<p>"Eira," he groaned, sitting upright as she rolled the condom down his cock. He helped her position him, and she cradled his jaw in her hands, mouth hovering over his as she slowly lowered herself.</p>
<p>The <em>sound </em>he made as he filled her.</p>
<p>"Yes," she whispered, rocking on his lap. "Cullen, <em>please</em>."</p>
<p>One hand clutched at her hip, the other braced behind him, his hips arching up to her. She tried to maintain eye contact, her heart pounding in her chest from more than just exertion. There was an intensity to their connection, overwhelming her mind and senses. She swiped her thumb over his lower lip, unable to resist slowing her pace to press a searing kiss to his lips. <em>This</em>, this need, a feeling she could never get enough of him, his mind, his body, his heart.</p>
<p>Her legs were beginning to burn with the effort, and she made to move off him. His arms came around her and he pulled her down, rolling them until he lay in the cradle of her hips, holding himself up just enough over her. The weight of him was somehow comforting, grounding, his bare skin pressed against hers.</p>
<p>"Better?" he asked, breathless, and she nodded.</p>
<p>He paused long enough for her to shift, finding the right angle again, and then he was driving into her. With each smooth stroke he was hitting the right spot, perfect waves of hot, messy pleasure fanning through her body as she matched the rhythm of his hips. Eira's hands moved restlessly as the pleasure climbed higher, feeling the muscles of his back working. He lifted himself, staring down at her.</p>
<p>"I can't— what do you need?" he panted.</p>
<p>Biting her lip, she dropped one hand between them to touch herself. He groaned as she tightened in reflex, and her free hand sought his, urgent for contact. His fingers laced between hers, pressing her hand back to the bed. "Don't stop," she moaned, losing herself in his eyes and her nearing crest.</p>
<p>"I've got you," she could hear him say, and then her world whited out as she came, consuming everything in one blissful moment. Her thighs gripped his hips as Cullen thrust through his own orgasm, driven over the edge by her reaction.</p>
<p>His breath shuddered over her fevered skin as he tucked his face into the crook of her shoulder, still trying to hold his weight off her. She squeezed their entwined hands, letting out a half-laugh as her legs fell back to the bed and stared up at her bedroom ceiling, dazed and giddy.</p>
<p>Cullen moved to stretch out alongside her and she rolled with a soft groan, tangling her legs with his.</p>
<p>"You are—" he murmured, leaning their foreheads together. "I've never felt anything like this."</p>
<p>"Neither have I. But I like it," she replied against his lips, kissing him sweetly, urgency gone for the moment but heat settling between them like a hearth fire.</p>
<p>He stroked his fingers over the silvery lines of the stretch marks on her hips, both of them reluctant to get up and take care of necessities, delaying being away from each other, even briefly. She watched him through the fringe of her lashes, contentment suffusing her. He looked as satisfied as she felt, relaxed and happy in her bed.</p>
<p>"What you said before — how long have you wanted to do that?" He looked at her questioningly, and she dropped her voice to a teasing purr. "Peel me out of my dresses?"</p>
<p>He chuckled, low and intimate, and the sound trailed up her back like a velvet glove. "Longer than I should admit."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I could not have done this without the support of my friends, primary among them the Blanket Fort.</p>
<p>This isn't the end for Eira and Cullen. Please keep an eye on the series! Thank you for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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